Today I’m competing in the Derwent Duathlon which starts
from the Fairholmes Visitor Centre in the Upper Derwent Valley, Derbyshire. It
was bloody foggy as when we left Nottingham at stupid 0'clock but by the time
we were up in the Peak District visibility was almost perfect.
This is a duathlon with a difference; the two run courses are
very different. One is 4.5k of fell running, the other 6.5k of mainly road
running. You have to do both but in which order is your own choice. As we start
and hurtle down the hill to the decision point the field seems almost equally
split on which one to do first. I go fell first, certainly not fancying
climbing hills on tired legs.
The fell course is narrow and because the field is still tightly
bunched a lot of walking is involved, which is fine with me. This I realise is
not the best option if you wish to win. To win I guess you must do the road
first, so that you then get a clear run at the fell section with the field more
spread out.
My calves screamed at me on the uphill sections but
thankfully they didn't give up the ghost and 26 minutes later I’m back in
transition.
The bike course is hell, there's no other way of describing
it because the road was riddled with pot holes. Big tip - don’t bring your best
bike, like I had. The organiser had marked the biggest ones with cones but the
unmarked ones were still capable of doing damage.
One pot hole knocked the ‘sender’ for my bike computer into
my spokes and I had to stop to disentangle it. Then a road wide crevice appeared
and although I lifted my front wheel over it, my back one hit it at speed causing
my rear tyre to explode. So I had to stop and fix that.
Then once I was up and riding again I hit another one. This
time something went on my back brake leaving it locked against my wheel rim. So
I had to stop again, this time opting to disable the brake completely.
Finally I got lap one of two over, threw my punctured tube
towards L and set off on lap two. I had thought of aborting at this point and
going straight on to the run but this is supposed to be hard training after
all. I just didn’t bank on this sort of hard.
I was well down the field but able to reel a few in.
Thankfully by now I knew where all the pot holes were.
The road was also now full of walkers, other cyclists,
families with kids, kids on bikes, kids on scooters and a group of mountain
bikers coming straight towards me with no intention of giving way. This
combined with the poor state of the road had already caused most competitors to
back off and give up on racing hard, although I doubt the ones at the front
did.
I got through it and went off on my road run, which was
thankfully uneventful. It was also nice to see that the finish wasn’t back up
the hill where the start and transition were. I crossed the line relieved and
in 69th place of the 94 who finished. There were 9 DNFs.
It wasn't pleasant at times but was sort of good fun. It is
potentially a great event and if the road is tarmaced by next year, as it is rumoured
it should be, then it could be bike friendly too. The main thing today was to
get some training miles in and that was certainly achieved.
Later at Quad in Derby, Scarlett Johansson is feeling a bit alien in Glasgow, which
is understandable. We all do. Glasgow, although a place I like, is a bit
like that. The thing is in this film by Jonathan Glazer from a novel by Michel
Faber she really is an alien.
Johansson (as Laura the alien) roams the streets of the
strange, unfamiliar world that is Glasgow in a white van. Occasionally she
stops and asks men who are walking home alone (oh the irony) for directions,
before offering to give them a lift. Once in the van she engages them in
conversation and flirts with them before luring them back to her run down abode
where, entranced by Johansson, they strip off their clothes while following her disrobing figure.
Yet they never reach their goal, her, as they disappear
beneath her bedroom floor, where they remain trapped until they get their
innards sucked out. Which are then presumably sent back to her home planet. Our
alien is completely remorseless about her task and shows no empathy for her
victims, who think it is their lucky day and they're going to get to shag Scarlett
Johansson.
Later, out on the Scottish coast whilst in the process of
seducing a surfer, she observes a dog
adrift in the sea, a woman getting in trouble trying to rescue it, her husband
getting in trouble trying to rescue her and the surfer getting in trouble
trying to save anyone he can.
She attempts to save her target, the surfer, yet
leaves the others and
also ignores their abandoned young child who is left screaming on the
beach, left to swallowed by the incoming tide. Our alien has no
understanding of the situation.
In time though, she does seem to develop a morality about her
actions. After seducing a disfigured man, she lets him escape and then attempts
to escape herself. Running from the purpose she was sent here for and from the
men on motorbikes who watch over her.
Whilst on the run in the countryside, she is befriended by a
stranger. He still wants to get physical with her, of course, as does a worker in the
forest, although in a more forceful manner. Suddenly the hunter has become the hunted.
It’s a bit off the wall at times and maybe having read the
novel would have helped but I haven't. Yet I was just happy to go with it and
embrace the fact that this alien girl (aren't they all) sinks her naked male
suitors into the alien equivalent of a shagpile carpet.
Johansson is superb and brave to take on this type of role. She
manages to exude a total lack of emotion throughout in such a way that,
unbelievably, you kind of sympathise with her.
For a post race/film debrief we end up in the Golden Eagle, where the Titan Brewery doesn't manage to come up with the dark Stouty goods this time. So we move to the Silk Mill, which certainly does.
(Sunday 30th March)