Consoling The Inconsolable

With no race on Sunday we need to get out to do some training. I'm always happy to take the Lad with me but MD isn’t up to the distance we want to do and nor probably are L’s knees if she was to run with him. The problem is we can’t leave him at home.

Attempting to console an inconsolable howling MD whilst the Lad is taken for a run is a difficult enough task but if there’s no one there to placate him, who knows how long he’ll howl for. The full two hours? Or does he stop once we’re out of earshot, put the kettle on and chill out for a couple of hours?

So we all head off in the car, drive to Elvaston Castle and leave MD in his box. He seems happy with that. We then do half marathon distance with the Lad, running out along the river past Pride Park to the edge of town and then back through Spondon and Borrowash. L does a bit less than the Lad and I due to us doing loops up a few side streets whenever we get ahead. We then do an extra small loop with MD, so that he gets to feel part of it.

Then after visiting my folks we stay in, finishing off the tub of Blue Monkey.

On Monday L is out in Derby leaving the boys and I to have fun in the mud at home. On Tuesday Daughter comes around for a run with L and then we do some more angry-shopper role play.

Wednesday sees me on the bike, despite the threat of Brendan but thankfully that particular storm seems to have passed over now. In the evening it’s dog training and then Thursday is run day for which it’s still a tad windy but hopefully blowing in the right direction to power me along. I keep it to just 9k this week as we have a 15 miler on Sunday.

Then on Friday I have an appointment with my torturer for a sports massage.

(Friday 17th January)

Smothered In Dog Oil

It’s the morning of  the Nottingham ‘Piddly Little’ Tri and we’re at Parkrun. Obsessive? Well, L's not actually getting a crafty Parkrun in first, she scanning bar codes for them. Her event doesn't start until a leisurely 12.30.

Unlike the rather wet outlook for my race tomorrow, today is glorious sunshine for hers. We arrive and I head off for my briefing at 11am whilst she gets herself ready for her actual event. Their briefing will be on the start line.

L is probably still proclaiming that she can’t see further than next weekend’s Hellathon as awaits the start covered in her race tattoos. They’re very fetching, she can keep those on for later.

The event is also known as the Sprint Distance which is a 750m swim, 20k bike and a 5k run. It’s also a qualifier for ITU Sprint Distance World Championships and ETU Sprint Distance European Championships. Gulp.

The dogs and I put on our 'we are supporting...' stickers and settle in to watch.

My girl has a solid swim and a great run. It’s on the run that she’s rapidly reeling people in and even the commentator comments on that. We just need to work a tad on the bike leg... but that's not going to be an easy subject to broach to a cycle-phobic.

I grab a pre-event massage and a young girlie lathers me up with dog oil. 

Slightly appalled at what she smothering me in I double check that it is not (a) a product designed for using on dogs nor (b) a product made from dogs. She assures me it’s neither and it’s from Yorkshire, which explains everything. Then she digs her thumb in my calf to shut me up.

Actually she’s very gentle, which may or may not be what I need but it’s not what I’m used to with Dancing Boy, my usual torturer. When she’s finished with my calves she also asks if there’s anything else I’d like massaging as we have five minutes. All this customer service for a tenner but I decline her kind offer. I mean what’s five minutes.

I am sharing the massage tent with a chap with a very swollen ankle who is getting it professionally taped up. Apparently he injured himself at one of those dangerous parkrun things but he’s hopeful of completing the swim and the bike, then ‘seeing how it goes’ on the run. Badly I would guess.

L then leads me astray and takes me for two very welcome and calming pints in Stapleford before pasta back home.

(Saturday 30^th May)