Social Distancing Protocol

This year they have moved the May Day Bank Holiday to the Friday to celebrate L’s birthday, which was very nice of them and it wasn’t even a milestone one. It’s also the 75^th Anniversary of VE Day which is convenient, not that there are going to be many celebrations this year due to Covid-19.

To be honest VE Day always makes me feel a touch queasy. I'm all for remembering the war effort, both those who died for the cause and those who survived, but I find all this Union Flag waving unsettling.

After all the war was won by a collaboration between over two dozen nations in which, of course, Britain played a major role but alongside huge roles by the United States and the Soviet Union. It may also not be popular to mention the very significant part played by China.

There may not be many celebrations around but, while out on our run, the Lad and I still manage to disrupt a street party. There was a social distanced gap for us to run through.

Daughter comes over with a cake and waves from the end of the drive. That’s for L’s birthday not VE Day, well I assume that’s what it’s for. The Lad rushes out and breaks social distancing protocol to greet her. MD though is still strictly following Government guidelines and refuses to go beyond the front door.

On Saturday L and I watch ‘Kinky Boots’ the film which was made in 2005 starring Joel Edgerton, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Sarah-Jane Potts. I am delighted, and L disappointed, to discover that it isn’t a musical unlike the 2013 Broadway production with music by Cyndi Lauper.

Then on Sunday we watch a film off our unwatched DVD pile. Seven weeks or so into Lockdown and it’s the first one we’ve watched. L produces a short list from which I pick ‘The Clan of the Cave Bear’ from 1986, the fact it stars Daryl Hannah does not influence my decision. She plays the role of a girl raised by a group of Neanderthals. It was considered a box office flop at the time, at least in the US but considering the dialogue is all grunts and sign language which is translated with subtitles perhaps it’s not surprising. It might have gone down better now the Americans are used to trying to understand Trump.

While no one can quite understand most of what comes out of Trump’s mouth, our beloved Boris isn’t a whole lot better. He waffles out a statement telling us we can go to work tomorrow, sort of, apparently, if you can, if you want.

He also unveils a Covid-19 threat level system which is on a scale from one to five. He says the number, illustrated by an accompanying graphic, is derived by adding R, the rate of infection, to the number of infections. R is now, apparently, between 0.5 and 0.9 while the number of infections is around the 220,000 mark. So on a scale of one to five we're at 220,000.5 at best). So it's not looking good them.

(Sunday 10^th May)

Collision Point

The race results from Watford have been corrected of their own accord. The normal order of things in our household has now been restored.

The Golf’s dashboard has suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree with warning lights. So, when L goes over to see her folks she takes the bus, not wanting to go over in a dodgy car. There’s always the Astra I say. Oh, she did say she didn’t want to go over in a dodgy car didn’t she.

I go over later to pick her up because I wanted to give the Golf a run to see just how dodgy it was but somehow it fixes itself as those wise folks on Google said it probably would.

On Tuesday L’s watching Kinky Boots at Broadway while I’m watching football boots as Derby defeat Northampton in their FA Cup 4th Round Replay. I shunt my planned dog training session to Wednesday.

L has her PT on Wednesday where she signs a contract committing to 12 sessions. As she says, that’ll sort her out. After which, she manages to walk home unaided but she may not be lifting pints for a while.

Meanwhile L’s dentist convinces her to make the leap to an electric toothbrush. Mine has been trying to convince me to have one for years along with regularly seeing the hygienist, selling me floss and also those things you put on the end of your fingers. Sometimes I’m not sure if he’s a dentist or a salesman. He spends more time trying to sell me stuff than he does looking at my teeth.

...and while she’s on a spending spree, she’s looking at hoovers and asks ‘how does a girl go about getting a new hoover?’ How does a girl go about getting anything new, shiny and expensive out of her man? But it’s not PC to do that sort of thing any more, so she’d best just tell me what she wants and I’ll get it ordered.

...and Daughter is searching for a skipping rope. I remember once shopping for a skipping rope for her. It may have been a few years ago... I think she may have been eight.

On Thursday L and I do a joint run, sort of. I start running home from work while she starts running towards me from home. The plan is we’ll meet somewhere along the way. The planned collision point is the Charlton Arms in Chilwell. Not that we intend going in but it seems just about the right distance as she wants to do about 8 miles while I’m going for the Full Monty home which will be 15.6 miles. As planned, I bump into L just past the Charlton Arms 11 miles in and we make it all the way home together.

(Thursday 6^th February)