The New Normal

L emails me from work, yes actual work and not the next room. She is back in her real office this week. Oh the novelty. They have taped off various things and put a one way system in, all for the few of them who came in. 

Once there she has to face her new computer which she didn’t have chance to finishing setting up before we were locked down. That may well be a stressful experience but luckily for her the chocolate machine has been taken out of use. All part of the new normal I guess.

At least she didn’t have to queue to get in like those poor folks who went to the newly reopened Ikea did. I’m not sure what they were selling that was so essential, and there were queues three hours before they opened, because going to Ikea at any time is my worst nightmare.

While Britain queues American burns in the aftermath of the killing of George Floyd with their President looking more and more unhinged with every passing day.

After work I do my first bike ride since mid-March. My knee isn’t up to running at the moment and I need to do something. I bike out to Sandiacre then come back home through Long Eaton. It’s only 24km but it’s something.

As the UK declares more coronavirus deaths in one day than all 27 EU states combined, the Government suspiciously scraps the weekend virus press conferences amid rumours that they're fast running out of scientists prepared to stand beside them.

(Thursday 4^th June)

Doubling Up

New Year’s Day is parkrun double day, which we haven’t done before. There are various possible permutations although some would require a very swift running of the first parkrun and then some possibly even swifter driving between the two places.

In the end we settle for what appears to be the most sane option. Markeaton at 9am and then Long Eaton at 10:30am. I do Markeaton with the Lad in a nippy 22:14 and Daughter runs with MD. I can’t remember her time but the two of them seem to get quicker each week.

Neither dog is up to a second run. The Lad is a bit too young and MD a bit too old. So us humans have to run alone and not surprisingly I’m quite a bit slower on the second one but that’s our first double done.

Now for a nap at the match.

(Tuesday 1^st January)

Another 50 Up

Today MD does his 50th parkrun. Hurray. I have done 56 in all and all but 6 of them have been with MD. He’s done well. His PB is 22:14 and today at Long Eaton we run 23:36 which isn’t bad at all for an oldie. An oldie and his dog that is.

We celebrate as ever with coffee and bacon sandwiches in the Rugby club.

We decide to go ahead with one of the painting quotes we’ve had. L describes it as a choice between the dipsy one that was late for his appointment but did give us a quote or the one that forgot to give us a quote entirely.

Having chosen, we are then told it will take 7 days. So that’s £850 plus a week off work? No thanks. Looks like L might have to get her brush out after all.

(Saturday 1st December)

Andrex Puppy

On Monday, I have a dog club committee meeting and L has her running club.

Tuesday, my running club of one meets and I run from work. I have learnt from the horse manure debacle and now run the Long Eaton route which has street lighting. I complete 14.7k and then get Indigo bus home.

Wednesday, is dog training and the Lad has an absolute blast.

On Thursday, I bike to work but dally too long on the park with the boys and I arrive late, having completely forgotten that the whole company is in a meeting about pensions. They all have to wait for me to get changed and to join them before they can start.

I also have squash and afterwards I have to stall for time, by drinking beer in the Dispensary, while I wait for L. She isn’t at tennis this week but has instead gone to a book thing at Waterstones featuring Barbara Kingsolver.

Friday... L asks if I’m doing anything fitness wise. No, nothing. My body is past any more exercise this week. Instead I get bus to work.

L frogmarches the Lad to meet me off the bus so that he can tell me in his own words what he’s done today. Oh. That doesn’t sound good. Turns out he’s had a stab at being the Andrex puppy and it’s not quite worked out for him. Rather then lovingly draping the toilet roll around the house and himself, he’s completely shredded it. It looks like we have our own snow machine. Cute it isn’t.

(Friday 16^th November)

Canal Dreams

L has (bizarrely) decided she wants to take up tennis and has asked whether my opponent’s partner fancies a knock about. She declines, clearly running scared because L has been to Wimbledon although only for the Pimms. Daughter steps up to the plate and plays instead, although rather unenthusiastically.

I manage to get a bike ride in on Friday as sort of preparation for Saturday’s Erewash Half.

The Erewash Half Marathon is a point-to-point race in the same style as the long running Birmingham Black Country Half Marathon.

In this case you are bussed out to the start at Langley Mill and then we are tasked with running back along the canal towpath all the way to West Park Leisure Centre in Long Eaton. The race uses a time trial format, setting everyone off in small groups with the fastest going first to limit congestion.

My start time is 9.15 but I am told to catch a bus at 7.20. I’m in the fourth start but I have to get the bus with the first three starts. L starts at 10.00.

Not that the bus leaves at 7.20. They are supposed to have two buses but only one of them turns up, then we come across the other bus with its hazards on close to J26 of the M1. The buses do look like antiques.

Eventually I start and it’s a pleasant enough run if you discount the fact that the route along the canal is actually only about 10 miles and not 13.1. So after about 8 miles we depart the canal, do an extra loop around some footpaths and then make up the rest of the distance doing a big loop of West Park before the finish. Why not just make it a 10 miler...

The other problem is of my own making, namely my lack of fitness. This is my first half marathon since my ill fated attempt at the Sheffield Half in April and I struggle, boy do I struggle. I walk loads and finish in an eye watering 1:57.

They hand me a shot glass at the finish, which sadly turns out to be full of sweets, and a t-shirt with the logo printed on the back, oh dear.

Knowing that, due to the staggered start time, L will be a while I crawl into the car and head home to fetch the dogs. Then I craftily find a gullible 10 year old to chuck their balls for them while I get back to rolling on the floor in agony and wait for L. 

L comes in moaning about her fitness almost as much as me...

(Saturday 18^th August)