The Impending Apocalypse

L asks if I’m basking in the glory at work. Not really. Most of my colleagues are simply shaking their heads but a couple of folk were impressed.

I’m impressed when I bump into a chap in an Ironman UK 2017 t-shirt in Sainsburys. The only problem was, it was bright yellow. How cruel is that? All that effort for a yellow t-shirt.

This hurricane is causing a few issues, for a start it's gone all yellow outside like the apocalypse has arrived. It’s also trapped all three of our directors in Belfast where they went for a meeting today but now they’re having to stay overnight because all the flights back have been cancelled.

Both dogs are at the vets tonight for their annual MOT and the vet doesn’t even seem surprised to see Doggo again. Both dogs are given a clean bill of health, not entirely spotless in Doggo’s case as he now has plenty of age related ailments but we won’t tell him if the vet doesn’t.

Dog training is off, although apparently its not down to the impending Apocalypse. Which does seem to be clearing now, which is good because we simply haven’t got time for an unscheduled apocalypse. Instead we both go to support Daughter at her running club. L is getting really good at this supporting business. After which we have a swift pint in the pub on the Embankment, which is now a brewpub  in the Brewhouse And Kitchen family.

There is no news on my missing friend, I don’t know if that’s good news or bad.

(Monday 16^th October)

False Economy

I take the car in to the garage this morning for a pre-holiday check up. It passed it’s MOT at the end of June but the exhaust only got through by the skin of its teeth and the whole car is rattling somewhat...

However the garage say everything is fine. Yes, the exhaust is a bit cracked and a bit noisy but it would be false economy to have it fixed now. The chap says it would be much better to wait until the whole thing gives up the ghost. 

‘Like half way up the M6 on Thursday?’ I ask. 

He does one of those shrugs that mechanics are quite good at. He says he doesn’t want to take my money off me unnecessarily. Really? He’s in the wrong job.

‘But...’ he says. Ah, there is always a but. ‘You could do with two new tyres’.

So the car is all sorted but I was nearly looking for another co-pilot for the trip.

Due to her recently acquired criminal record, Hastings Direct have decided that they will not insure L any more. Why they couldn’t have told me this last week, when I first raised the issue with them, I have no idea.

Anyhow I quickly did an on-line search for a new insurer and it produced a list of 70 who were willing to take our custom. So we have now jumped ship to Swinton and the entire premium with them is less than it was at Hastings. So, result. Hastings must lose a lot of customers this way.

L says she feels bad for causing so much hassle. Hassle? She means excitement. I’ve never lived with a criminal before.

(Monday 14^th August)

Sunrise City

It’s a very early start this morning for what used to be known as Run 5:30 but is now the Sunrise City 5k although still at 5:30am. Which means, to the dogs’ horror, we get up at WTF O’clock. This one is in Nottingham with Derby to come in two weeks time.

L runs it, while the boys and I support. MD is gutted to not be involved but gets over it quickly when all the street cleaning vehicles that are around at that early hour gang up to upset him.

Afterwards, back at work, I am kept awake by multiple queries from London. None of which are our fault (again) but still very frustrating.

On the way in I dropped the car off for it’s MOT and, shock horror, it passed. Yes the dodgy handbrake is fine... the dodgy indicators are fine... L is appalled.

(Friday 30^th June)

A Proper Old School Kick About

The front end of the car has been rattling away merrily for the last few weeks and today I decide I can’t ignore it any longer. One of the likely causes would have been the front suspension springs and this does indeed turn out to be the culprit. They only fit these things in pairs which is sort of sensible, for their balance sheet as well as for the customer.

They also present me with a list of other things that they recommend I spend money on. I decline whilst wondering if they have secretly charged me for the full MOT they seem to have performed without my permission and without handing over the certificate, as none of their list are failures.

At least I managed to walk from the garage to work, so I’ve done some exercise.

There’s a match tonight, a proper old school kick about, tackles flying in etc, between Derby and Middlesbrough. Both are in the promotion frame. Derby’s bad run continues and they lose to the only goal of the game scored by Patrick Bamford, who was with Derby last season.

Perhaps if we go into the play offs in bad form we’ll win them... seemed to work for QPR last season.

Back home Doggo doesn’t seem to miss me as much as he did L when she stopped out and appears to be fast asleep on his mat when I get home.

(Tuesday 17^th March)

The Things I Have To Do

Le Daughter is home and we are trying to steer her onto a cheaper living project, so that we can all afford to see her through her Master’s Degree at Manchester University.

This isn’t easy when she needs le full MOT. Le opticians, le dentist, le hairdresser... well that can be cheap and cheerful surely. In fact can’t she have her hair cut really short so that it lasts for the full year?

Anyone for ****** tennis? Sadly the weather looks good, so I won’t be able to get out of it any longer.

I meet L at the tennis centre and we do a dog swap, she's also asked me to slap her if she tries to have alcohol tonight. The things I have to do.

In the end it’s a short game. My opponent turns up pre-injured and collapses in a heap during game 8. We adjourn to the pub.

(Thursday 3^rd July)

Mob Rule

I take the car in for its MOT today. It requires a new tyre (expected), a new exhaust (sort of expected), a few bulbs and a brake cylinder which will come to about £2,000 obviously. That’s a slight exaggeration, I hope.

Luis Suarez gets four month ban from football, that’ll teach him to have a sandwich before games in future.

Tonight we finally get our ‘last’ game of squash in before we indulge in a spot of summer tennis. Obviously it will rain every week now.

In my capacity as dog club secretary I am tasked with calling a SGM today because a third of members have signed a petition demanding one. Mob rule basically. Nobody mentioned this in the job description when I agreed to the role.

(Thursday 26^th June)

Annual Pocket Empting

The car is in for its annual MOT and service today. Presumably this will accompanied by the usual annual pocket empting by the garage.

Actually, when a couple of things reappear on the service, things that I didn’t have done last year, the garage honours the prices they quoted me a year ago. Wow. Then they also decide to honour the promised discount from three weeks ago when I had my tyres done. Wow. Business must be really good.

Something called the Monster Swim is happening in Loch Ness at about the same time as we’re in Scotland during August. No further comment.

Squash is back, although only temporarily as I’m crying off for the next few weeks to watch L in the Nottingham Grand Prix runs. It was not a good performance. No further comment.

(Thursday 20^th June)

One For The Price Of Three

I take the car in for one new tyre to replace the one that I had to change and come away with three. Only it wasn’t a ‘three for the price of one’ deal of course. Isn’t that always the case with garages? I had little choice, with the car due for an MOT next month, it was pay now or pay later.

No squash again, so instead L and I end up at B&Q. How quaint. What a couple-y sort of thing to do. It's also deathly quiet. All those people who come for the day out on a weekend are absent and even the burger van is shut or perhaps that’s the reason it's quiet.

Then as we’re out tomorrow, we have Friday night tonight instead. 

 (Thursday 23^rd May)