"for the happy, the sad, I don't want to be, another page in your diary"

Thursday, 10 January 2013

It Wasn’t To Be

It’s cold today, colder even than yesterday. It’s also foggy but it’s not actually icy. I could have cycled but I don’t, the legs are feeling a bit weary. Too much ripping tarmac last night perhaps.

I also have squash to consider. Which damn near ends in victory. 1-1 and three game points in the third but sadly it wasn’t to be.

(Thursday 10th January)

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

It’s About Time We Had Some Decent Weather

The weather drops colder today. They say it will be below freezing by the end of the week with possible snow early next week. Good. It’s about time we had some decent weather.

I walk the dogs because L is in London for work and departs before 6am. Which means the boys and I are out on the street not much after that. At that time of the morning there isn’t much about to upset MD’s delicate equilibrium. I don’t think even the dustmen, due today, are up yet.

As we walk, I ponder a run instead of the bike today. Decision made, I postpone the bike ride until tomorrow and will run tonight. So I’m banking on the really cold weather not showing up tomorrow.

So it’s the bus to work, which nearly has its own bike related disaster. It pulled off just as a chap was outside putting his bike in the side compartment. Thankfully everyone on the bus screamed and the driver stopped.

Then after work, I run home from Sandiacre. I quite enjoy it, ripping up the tarmac through Bramcote. I mean, gently ripping it obviously, I need to look after the knee.

Then dog training, from which we get back just after L arrives home from London. She’s already in bed with a glass of wine in her hand. Good idea, don't mind if I do.

(Wednesday 9th January)

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

And I Think I've Got Problems

And I think I've got injury problems... Apparently, reigning National Cyclo-Cross champion Paul Oldham crashed last weekend at an event in Macclesfield. He landed heavily on his elbow, forcing his shoulder to dislocate but no matter, he ‘managed to roll around and get it back in’. Then he continued for a while before deciding to pull out and save himself for another important event the following weekend. That’s hardcore.


Apparently he’s used to it, ‘usually comes out in my sleep’ he says. Nice.

Which all makes my cycle in to work seem a bit tame by comparison, Sandiacre on tarmac isn't quite Macclesfield in the mud. Which is just fine, that's the way I like it. Although the rain does liven things up a touch on the way home.

L heads off to her book club in a short skirt, which apparently causes a bit of a stir. L has had two pairs of jeans meet a grisly death recently. One at the hands/paws of Doggo, the other courtesy of some wet weather induced disintegration. All of which means she having to do a lot of wearing of dresses and skirts recently. Which is a travesty obviously...

(Tuesday 8th January)

Monday, 7 January 2013

90 Minutes

Tonight I’m at a fan forum, ‘Your 90 Minutes’ with Sam Rush the new CEO of Derby County. There are drinks and refreshments, only coffee and shortcake but no buns. A forum is of course just a posh word for a bun fight. Still it’s more than we usually get from the club.

Mr Rush will be telling us his ‘vision’ and wants to know whether it matches our ‘vision’. Doubt he’ll be fussed if it doesn’t but that’s the idea.

I remind my father to put his hearing aid in or rather I ask my mother to do so, which is more effective. He doesn't like wearing it in crowds but may find it helpful on this occasion. Then when we get there I have to ask him to turn it down as it’s whistling with feedback.

Within ten minutes I know I'm not going to be particularly impressed with Mr Rush but then, I didn't expect to be. He toed the party line, as expected, didn't really answer the key questions, as expected but still spent a lot of time talking, in fact an inordinate amount of time, but saying very little.

Things livened up after an hour when we got on to ticketing, which at the moment is a complete fiasco and an expensive fiasco at that. He, at least, looked interested in people’s concerns on this and also on the lack of benefits of being a season ticket holder.

On the plus side, the 90 minutes lasts 120 and it is really good of him to meet us. Also he’s British, unlike the last one.


(Monday 7th January)

Sunday, 6 January 2013

Line Of Best Fit

Another lazy Sunday, we’re getting used to this sort of thing. We probably ought to be doing a race but the only one we can find is the local charity race at Burton Joyce that we did last year. It’s probably why we ended up there last year, as there’s nothing else. Anyhow by the time I roll over and look at the clock, we’ve missed it. Bugger. Might as well stay put then.

At least it’s not raining, so finally I get change to take the lounge door outside and hack a chunk off the bottom of it. Fits now.

(Sunday 6th January)

Saturday, 5 January 2013

FA Cup 3rd Round Day

It’s FA Cup 3rd Round Day, which I’m excited about even if it’s not cool to be so anymore.

In a way it’s great that Derby are only charging a tenner for today’s game against League One leaders Tranmere. On the other hand it does gives out the message that the club think this is only about a third as important as a league game, so naturally they get about a third of the crowd. Is it really worth them charging a tenner? Wouldn't it be better for everyone if they gave it free to season ticket holders (sneakily upping the price of those by tenner perhaps) and thereby bagging a bigger gate, more programme sales, more food/drink sales, better atmosphere, loads of goodwill and good PR or is that just too obvious?

My Mum ducks out of this one, probably on the grounds that it's only a third as important as a league game, and as we were a bit late getting tickets we don’t end up in our usual seats. The ones we do get, four rows from the front, are actually better. As long as it doesn’t rain, which today it doesn’t.

The result is as good as it’s unexpected. 5-0.

In the evening we get the bus over to Derby, primarily to see a film we missed first time around ‘Sightseers’ at Quad. We eat at the Royal Standard before heading across to Quad. Thankfully we have booked in advance because the film is sold out, due primarily to them putting the film on a small screen called ‘The Box’ that we previously didn’t know existed.

It’s very rare that I find a film funny but ‘Sightseers’ was murderously funny, literally. Tina (Alice Lowe) is a mummy’s girl but she steps out of her sheltered life when her new boyfriend Chris (Steve Oram) offers to show her his world, Yorkshire mainly, by caravan. She is thrilled, her mother is appalled. Her mother doesn’t approve of Chris; she doesn’t know how right she is.

So the two set off for a romantic sightseeing getaway, him supposedly for inspiration for a book he's writing, her to get over the death of her beloved terrier Poppy who met a grisly but accidental death, on the end of a knitting needle. First stop Crich Tramway Museum.


Then from there, the road trip continues to the delights of Blue John Cavern, the Ribblehead Viaduct and of course Keswick’s Pencil Museum. Whilst in the evenings their ‘erotic odyssey’ is consummated in a rocking caravan, for which Tina has knitted her own 'sexy' underwear. Yep it’s another Rom-Com.

The only problem is that Chris harbours an angry streak and a low tolerance of other people. When someone threatens to report Chris to the National Trust his response is swift, deadly and quite unsettling at first for the viewer but you soon get used to it as several folk quickly breach Chris’s low threshold for annoying habits. Some of the scenes are not for the faint hearted, particularly if you’re in charge of PR for the National Trust.


When Chris backs the caravan over someone who picked the wrong van to drop their ice cream wrapper by and subsequently has to wash the blood off the wheel arches, Tina cottons onto the fact that her new boyfriend literary ambitions are just a sideline to his serial killer ones.

She doesn’t seem unduly fazed by this discovery, declares herself his ‘muse’ and joins in; cue Soft Cell's 'Tainted Love' as the two of them leave a trail of dead bodies across several northern counties. Well it was either that or return to her overbearing mother. She even acquires herself a new dog to replace Poppy.


She does more than join in though, she takes over, which just has the effect of heightening Chris's insecurity which doesn’t aid the path of true love much and drives him into friendship with an equally weird chap who travels with a bicycle drawn ‘carapod’.

‘Sightseers’ is written by Oram and Lowe themselves both of who put in chillingly convincing performances. It’s full of understated dark humour, my favourite kind, with some of the most disturbing deaths you’ll ever see and it’s also very British.


Yes it's pulpy, doesn't really go anywhere and has only really one joke but some films are better that way. It’s also smart enough to know that once the joke has run its course its time to wind up the story, which is done with an equally blunt finale.

See this and you'll never be able to look a caravaner in the eye again. Loved it, film of the year so far... well ok, so it’s only 5th January.

(Saturday 5th January)

Friday, 4 January 2013

Make Or Break

This week after two rides to work and a game of squash, I attempt to finish the knee off with a five mile run after work. I figure this will be ‘make or break’ for the knee. It’ll either be good to go for my next half marathon in a few weeks time or I’ll be in for physio treatment next week.

L meanwhile ignores her inner demon which is telling her to slob, coagulate and vegetate in front of the TV with a glass of sherry and goes to the gym. I’m not sure that the former is possible anyway; I think someone’s drunk all the sherry. At the gym, she claims to be doing some exercise routine that involves a supermarket trolley. I shall require a full explanation later, even if we have to go to Sainsbury's car park for a demonstration.

I have a good run, it’s relatively swift and the knee holds up. Although I’ll probably be sprinkling Doggo’s joint stuff on my breakfast tomorrow.

Then, wa-hey, it’s Friday. We’re not had a Friday since early December.

(Friday 4th January)

Thursday, 3 January 2013

It’s All Relative These Days

I cycle again. All part of the fitness plan and it stays dry again.

L wants to know if I've phoned a physio yet? No not yet, the knee is fine so far, sort of. Ask me again after squash or after I've unwittingly knelt on it tonight. I really must stop doing that.

Lunch time is spent in the pub, which is very pleasant and will fortify me for the rest of today’s fitness plan.

Unfortunately, I run into a bit of trouble on the way home. An old man passes me, well when I say old, I mean he was older than me. It’s all relative these days. I set off in something approaching a hot pursuit but can’t catch him. I do get close but he nips through the lights just before they change and I get stranded the other side of the junction.

I watch him up the road overtaking another cyclist with long flowing blonde hair. I think I know who that is. I often see a couple of chaps with such flowing locks on my commute, clearly it's one of them. Neither are to be tangled with, so he’s brave passing them.

When I get moving though, I start to catch this other cyclist and realise it’s not a chap at all but a girl. Naturally I have to go past her, which isn’t easy as it once was. Sadly most girls on bike are now fitter and younger than me by some distance. It’s all relative these days. This one is easily overcome though but she’s a grumpy one and doesn’t even acknowledge my greeting as I go past.

Then it’s squash and four very long, close games. I’m crawling by the end, two days on the bike does not a good pair of legs make. I have never been so delighted to see the next couple of players turn up for their game and I thank them profusely.

(Thursday 3rd January)

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Are You With Me Knee?

Right then. Time to get fit or at least time to make it do or die for the dodgy knee. Are you with me knee? Or against me? We will see.

I get the bike out and set off for work. I arrive dry for once, although it did attempt to rain on me at one point but I think I scowled it away.

The traffic is light, indicating I think that most people are still skiving off work. Back to normal for the boys though, who head to the park to top up their mud levels.

(Wednesday 2nd January)

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Pebble Dash

A New Year’s Day park session and chance for MD to top up his mud levels. He seems to have been permanently covered with a pebble dashed effect since the start of December.

Then finally we get a football match. After two consecutive away games over the festive season the fixture computer finally grants us a home one. We need a win too, it’s been a while since we had one of those. It arrives in impressive fashion for once 3-1 over Middlesbrough.

(Tuesday 1st January)