Up A Bracket

The Lad looked absolutely gutted when we both left for work on Wednesday morning. What no beach today? I’m just as gutted as he is. It’s a look he maintains all day long on Dog TV.

Despite being away for two weeks the pizza oven at The Yard is still broken, so it’s sandwiches for lunch again.

L has come back from holiday with a dodgy elbow which her boss injects for her. She is embarrassed to have to lie down afterwards, I’d have fallen down and been out cold.

The Tennis Centre is no longer allowing outdoor courts to be booked from 7pm presumably because it’s now too dark to get the hour in, so we move indoors for our tennis on Thursday and up a price bracket.

L asks me to check out if there are any girls in her male dominated tennis ex-class tonight. Erm, one lad and four girls.

Instead she goes to her running club where she describes the session as more like British Bulldog. Not too sure what that means.

(Thursday 5^th September)

Some Sort Of Record

On Monday Dog TV is missing one of its star performers. The Lad is nowhere to be seen. Panning the camera around I can see he’s not in the kitchen and both of the doors in the hall are firmly shut. I can’t see if he’s got into the lounge but I think it would be unlikely he’d got that door open. So, that leaves just one option. I imagine he’s chilling on the bed upstairs having jumped the stair gate. I guess we knew that was coming. MD doesn't look as though he's missing him in the least.

On Tuesday I put the dog cage by the gate and the Lad seems to spend all day sulking in the not-best bed, ceding possession of this to MD who is still in it come 2:30pm, which is some sort of record.

It takes him until Wednesday to finish plotting his escape. When I get home from work he meets me at the door and demonstrates just how much easier the cage makes it for him to jump over and nibble the mail. Time for another rethink.

We have a tallish shoe rack, which covered by a blanket, now becomes the barrier between the Lad and the comfy bed upstairs. It seems to be working at the moment.

Elsewhere this is a week of cancellations. Monday’s dogging is cancelled because it’s too wet although Wednesday’s goes ahead. L’s run with her friends is cancelled on Wednesday although their post-run social still goes ahead and her tennis is off on Thursday although that isn’t weather related. L goes to run club instead, in the rain. The current persistent rain is simply surreal.

(Thursday 13^th June)

Destroying The Evidence

Everyone keeps asking L if I’m pleased with my marathon time and she doesn't quite know what to say. Anyone who’s actually seen me doesn’t have to ask...

Actually I’m not that disappointed and the calf does feel a bit better this morning, I’m even considering running home. Only kidding... I have a committee meeting to go to.

The week starts calmly on Dog TV, after a hard weekend the Lad doesn’t even need to get the tea towels out. Until Tuesday that is, when he is seen having a right old time with what appears to be a pair of knickers on his head. Looks like L’s left the wash basket out. There could be quite a collection in the hall by the end of the day.

Manchester Marathon email me. Not to ask how I am, oh no, but to tell me that entries are now open for next year.

L’s boss gives her a Cadbury's Creme Egg. I’m told to confiscate it and destroy the evidence. I do as instructed.

She also tells me that she’s been getting emails threatening to send photos of her ‘doing things’ to all her friends and ruin her social life. So it’s not just me who’s been caught by our non-existent webcam then.

By Wednesday, I feel my calf is ‘recovered’ enough to bike to work. Admittedly it wasn’t totally pleasant going uphill or walking over the bridge at the Wyvern but all that was minor compared to hopping round a marathon. I even manage dog training in the evening.

On Thursday, L is given another Cream Egg and I offer to again eat it for her if she foam rolls my calf. She agrees but then falls asleep before I can get my evening roll. She does apologise in the morning and says I need a livelier woman but I don’t think that was a serious offer.

I bike again on Friday while L comes home with yet another Cream Egg, saying she didn’t want to offend her boss by saying no. I again have to intervene.

Her Dad has now been discharged from the main hospital and has been moved to the Community Hospital. We go over to see him. 

(Friday 12^th April)

Mastering Calmness

On Wednesday L gives me a lift to work in the car as she heads over to the hospital. Then I get the bus home.

In the evening I take the boys training. The Lad is so very keen as regards his training but has yet to get anywhere close to mastering the calmness he needs to master it.

On Thursday he uses a tea towel (or rather several tea towels) to work out his stress levels. I notice there is quite a collection of them in the hall when I look in on Dog TV. By which point he’s having a nap. No wonder, if he’s been that busy.

Thursday is still my run night despite this Sunday being Marathon day. I run to Sandiacre, a distance of about 13k before getting the bus home. L says I should be taking it easy. I thought I was.

Friday is ‘Walk To Work Day’ but I don’t participate. The 15 miles would have mean leaving home about 3:30am and anyway I ran most of it last night.

In the evening we both visit L’s Dad in hospital.

(Friday 5^th April)

A Popular Service

I take the car to the garage on Monday but they send me away again, they can’t look at it until Wednesday. So it’s fingers crossed that it gets me to my committee meeting, which it does. Before I head out to the meeting Daughter arrives having run from hers to ours. Wow. Quite the athlete.

Dog TV is no longer broadcasting. I wondered if the Lad had perhaps turned it off so that he could chew on the shower gel in peace. I wouldn't put it past him but I get home to find that the camera has simply stopped working. It was quite old, even if it’s rarely been used.

Tuesday brings the threat of ‘heavy snow’ according to the local paper. Damn. I’ve not got my shovel with me. L says it’s raining in Nottingham. Yes, raining here in Derby too but... hang on... what’s this. As I walk to meet my friend for a few beers it starts snowing, very very lightly. Then it stops. That’s probably that for another year.

With L being largely AF, I am out on the lash for the first time this year. Unfortunately my friend also isn’t a big drinker so it’s just a couple of pints and then off for food. At least I talk him into an Indian rather Wetherspoons. I barter with the chap outside the Shalimar to get the two-for-one offer that should end at 7pm, it’s 7.15pm. He has little choice than to agree if he wants our trade.

On Wednesday, the garage equips the car with a new set of spark plugs and a timing coil. So it’s good to go again, which is good news for the Lad’s training. He does the seesaw tonight which must look pretty daunting if you’re a young dog seeing it for the first time. L’s always said she thinks it looks dangerous, which is all the more reason for him to quickly get the hang of it and not to fall off it.

Meanwhile L is off to see if she can keep up at her new running club. If not she reckons she’ll be joining Notts Womens’ purple army instead. I’m sure she’ll be fine.

On Thursday I do my weekly long run and make it all the way home, a distance of 24km (15 miles). Then after a quick recovery shower, I pick L up from tennis as usual.

On Friday I’m in the gym after work when I get told that I’ve had a delivery of Maltesers from L’s Mum with instructions to dispose of them. It is a popular service that I offer.

Derby are on TV again away at Preston but I don’t pay for that. A mere league game without the threat of penalties isn’t going to be very exciting. In any case, L is playing tennis outdoors despite the fact it’s freezing, so I will have some serious warming up to do when she gets home. That’s another service that I offer, I think it's popular. 

(Friday 1^st February)

Bring On The Druids

MD comes up on my Facebook as a cute puppy, ten years ago. Although not exactly ten years ago because the photo was taken on a beach in Norfolk just before he erased most of his cuteness by chasing a little girl across the beach.

Back to the present day and tension mounts on Dog TV with the Lad chewing on a bottle of shower gel. Hands up who forgot to follow the house rules and remove all bathroom items from the Lad’s reach? Clue - it wasn’t me. I add shower gel to this week's shopping list.

Monday is the Dog Club’s Christmas Meal but I’ve had to take a rain check on that because Derby are playing Nottingham Forest. Yes, on a Monday night. Thanks for that Sky TV. Everyone is well pissed off about it as this local derby is normally a full day of merriment for many. I hope all the viewers enjoyed the 0-0 draw.

Tuesday’s final dog class of the year is on. The dodgy lighting seems to have been fixed or at least have dried out. No scrub that, it’s raining again.

While all the attention centres on what the Lad is up on Dog TV, I’ve yet to see MD get out of bed. I did see him have a good bark at something but he didn’t get out of bed to do it. Then suddenly we notice that they've swapped beds but no one saw it actually happen.

I submit our entries for next year’s Great North Run and notice a new question on the entry form ‘I wish to be included in the non-binary gender category for this event Y/N’. I am tempted to say yes, in case there’s chance of winning the category. I wonder if there’s a trophy.

Wednesday is our final pizza of the year or rather it isn’t because The Yard is closed for a private party. So we go in the nearby The Merlin instead. I’ve not been in there before and now I know why.

I’m out in Derby later for a few pints in the Brunswick while L is at her Mum’s, so she kindly picks me up afterwards.

Thursdays is our final squash game of the year and L’s final tennis. 

My squash opponent informs me that tomorrow is the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, and something they oddly always celebrate as if they were druids or something. This is the day when traditionally cattle were slaughtered so the animals did not need to be fed through the winter and when the beer that had been made during the summer had finally fermented and was ready to drink.

I tell him that we will join in the celebration. Perhaps not with a slaughtering but I might open a beer. First though I pop to the gym for a quickie. 

(Friday 21^st December)

Dog TV

Dog TV was launched this week. Basically I have put up a webcam so that we can keep tabs on the boys, and what they’re up to, during the day. Which seems to be basically nothing.

The first day I had it in the kitchen but I quickly realised that it needs to in the hall as we didn’t see them all. They may have both jumped the stairgate and gone upstairs or perhaps they’ve took themselves on the park. Who knows.

So on Friday I moved it into the hall where we can see that they are both curled up in their beds, barely moving, pretty much all day long. Neither of them were to pacing the floor in boredom or scrapping with each as they do when we’re home. With them being this chilled all day long it’s no wonder they’re lively when we get home.

I’m pleased they are so chilled out but L reads it differently and says the Lad looks bored stiff, the poor sausage, and considers hiring a dog walker. I’m almost regretting putting the camera up now. What did she think they’d be doing, making cups of tea and putting the world to rights?

She says she’ll shall do the lottery and get him a farm. I say just leave him a toilet roll. Which would keep all us TV watchers amused.

She’s not offering to amuse them tonight though and says she won’t be opening the back door at all this evening while I’m at my Office Party. She’s a harsh woman but I’m sure they’ll talk her round.

Today is not only our Office Party but also Christmas Jumper Day and our Secret Santa. Oh the joy.

Our meal is at Thai Dusit in Derby. It was ok, nothing terribly exciting. As ever the two pints in the Flowerpot beforehand was the best bit of the night.

(Friday 14^th December)