The Comeback

So, the comeback. The weather dawns a touch on the chilly side for it. Well, -3 to be precise. At least that’s what it was on the drive up to Sheffield for the charmingly named (if you’re drunk) Percy Pud 10k. At least it’s sunny, very sunny, so it doesn’t feel that cold.

First problem is getting there, the directions are vague and Sheffield seems to have A61s, the road we have to follow, going off in all directions. After a complete lap of the ring road we decide we’re on the wrong A61.

The second problem, when we find the right road, is parking, basically because there isn’t any. People are parking up on the road a good mile from the start and, with only 20 minutes to go to start time, that’s tantamount to a course extension. You would have thought the police would have something to say about so much haphazard street parking but they seem to be ok with it and are directing more traffic onto already full streets.

Eventually we manage to cram the car into some gap fairly close to the start, abandon the already howling dogs and leg it down to the start, which means a more vigorous than we had planned warm up.

As we line up at an equally overcrowded start line with around 1700 others I tug L forward as she is way too far back. Then once we start I realise that I’m still too far back myself. There are so many people walking from the off that it takes me 5:40 for the first km. Terrible but there’s just no room. It takes almost 2k to finally get some space. It’s the 20th running of the race and this is the biggest one ever, the race appears to fill very quickly every year no matter what the limit, but I fear it’s now too big.

The route itself, once I get going, is very pleasant. We run along the Loxley Valley on closed roads and across what is a more or less flat course. There’s a wonderful view as we approach and then run alongside a damn. It would have been nice to have gone all the way around but I guess that isn’t feasible or else we’d have done it, instead it’s an out and back.

As we approach the turnaround point I have no idea how the returning runners are going to get past us because we’re still covering both sides of the road. In fact what they do is squash us up by driving a car down the other side of the road. Then just in case that doesn’t create enough room, they send Santa down as reinforcements. He tries to run us down in his classic car but it seemed to do the trick.

As runners start coming back the other way I can see just how many people are ahead of me, a lot, including a man who may be dressed as a reindeer or perhaps it’s Scooby Doo, it’s hard to tell, his suit has seen better days.

Then I reach the turn myself. Now somewhere coming towards me will be L but the sun is low and I’m squinting into it so I don’t see her.

Then the finish is in sight. 48 minutes FFS. Well, 47:49 on my watch but naturally I mentally rounded it up. Even at that pedestrian pace I still feel the need to faint but there’s nowhere to do it as I queue endlessly for chip removal, Christmas pudding and t-shirt with the reviving water handed out last.

L in contrast has a relative stormer. Although she was only supposed to be setting a baseline time as something to improve on. Doing 1:01 is setting a pretty high base.

In short, it’s a very pleasant race over a nice route but slightly spoil by too many entrants.

Afterwards I try and bend down enough to chuck a few balls for the dogs. I can’t believe I ache this much after a mere 10k. Then after coffee we head off to Daughter’s and subsequently Wetherspoons (for speed) for lunch. I have exactly the same Sunday lunch as last week at Wetherspoons in Leamington. In fact not only is it the same right down to the choice of vegetables, I’m sure they’re positioned in exactly the same place on my plate. Yes I know the menus were going to be identical but you’d think they’d allow the chefs some room for creativity. The beer, a local one from Bradfield, is excellent though, if practically bright red in colour.

Then I have to abandon the girls early to head back to Derby for the dog club AGM which goes as well as can be expected. L gets the train back from Sheffield and I meet her later in... Wetherspoons... another one, this time Nottingham’s Roebuck. The beer selection in the Sheffield one was so good we had hoped the Nottingham one could replicate it in perfect detail, like with the Sunday lunch. No joy but not too shifty and we stay there all night, although L does move to wine.

(Sunday 2nd December)

It Actually Works!

We get up shockingly early this morning because the ‘Floor Man’ is coming at 12 noon and I hasten the dogs around the park in double quick time. Only he doesn’t turn up of course, again. For some reason I didn’t really expect him to, so I already had the central heating in bits when he was due.

I finally got the new heated towel rail fitted. It involved two trips to B&Q, a quite substantial leak and a time out while I went to the opticians but I got there in the end. Plus, as a bonus, it actually works.

After all that excitement we stay in again and prepare for my running comeback tomorrow with a large glass of wine.

(Saturday 1st December)

St Andrews Day

L persuasively talks me out of cycling, with the help of a -3 temperature on the thermometer. I don't really want any more cracked ribs at this stage of my recovery from injury.

Today is St Andrews Day.

So we ought to do something Scottish tonight, perhaps I’ll get my kilt out and open the whisky or perhaps not. We do actually have a haggis in the fridge, although it was intended as a gift for Son and it’s now also out of date.

We must be able to come up with something else that’s Scottish. L suggests venison but she’s just desperate for a piece of the local deer, who aren't, I don't think, Scottish. Scotch broth? Scotch egg? Scotch pancakes?

In the end L suggests a Celtic Thai Curry which is a good compromise. I cook it using actual Scottish salmon. L herself does ‘Scottish Mist’ for dessert but apologises in advance for having to use Moroccan fruit and West Country cream but she's hopefully that she can add some whisky to it that is actually Scottish. Actually, I think it’s a choice of Jameson or Brandy...

We watch TOTP as usual, although we probably shouldn’t unless the Krankies are on it or the Bay City Rollers I suppose, but I think one of them is under investigation, so they’re probably banned.

(Friday 30th November)

Quicker By Car

There's an article on the BBC saying that cycle and walking 'must be norm' for short journeys. I didn't think that would go well but I was particularly amazed by a lot of comments that seemed to think it’s quicker to go places by car. Clearly they don’t live in Nottingham or Derby.

Or Birmingham for that matter, which is where I crawl to after work for another gig.

These dates looked like they may never happen. The ones in Europe had been cancelled because Juliana Hatfield was unable to make them, so Evan Dando did one on his own, which didn't go down that well, so they scrapped the rest.

The UK ones don't seem to be that well organised either. The Institute’s Facebook said this morning that stage times would be up later. They were, at about 7.30pm, half an hour after the doors had opened and I’d already arrived there straight from work.

Now we learn that the guys are on at 9pm, which would be fine but there’s no support. So two hours to kick one’s heels with only some really bad lager for company. No support is unforgivable really. How many local artists would have played for nothing? Plenty I’m sure.

The show has also been moved from 'The Library' to the smaller and cosier upstairs 'Temple' which is packed. Actually I think we're all here now, we’re just missing two people... I look at my watch, an hour to go... This better be good.

Evan and Juliana come on just after nine and spent the next five minutes tuning up while the PA continues to play. Couldn’t they have done that earlier...

16 years ago I stood Juliana up, well I didn't buy a ticket. I'd had what I hoped was a better offer and I'm still with that better offer, so it's looking like I made the right call. She and I had met up just the once before in October 1993 at Sheffield Poly or was it already Sheffield Hallam by then? But it’s a long time ago and I've not seen her since until tonight. We were both much younger then of course. Not that she seems to have changed much.

Finally tuning up is done and we’re off. Into Evan’s 'All My Life'.

The two of them are old pals as well as musical collaborators. Juliana played bass and provided backing vocals for the Lemonheads back in the day while Evan briefly returned the favour by filling in on bass for Hatfield’s The Blake Babies. So there’s some crossover as they produce a selection of songs from both of their extensive back catalogues.

Occasionally they share the lead, such as when they cover The Velvet Underground’s 'Pale Blue Eyes' but usually they just back each other or as often happens simply let the other one get on with it and take centre stage. It’s an off-the-cuff format that works well.

In fact it’s so off-the-cuff that both ,but particularly Evan, have a plethora of crib notes scattered on the floor in front of him. Occasionally this off-the-cuff-ness degenerates something a bit disjointed and rambling but the evening is probably all the better for that. It’s a really relaxed evening unless you’re Juliana who does seem a bit nervous at times. I get the impression they haven’t practised together much, if at all, since they last toured together over a year ago.

It’s a lot of fun with some very good natured banter between the two, making fun of Evan’s university days or lack of them, among other things.

The crowd throw multiple requests at the stage and they do their best to meet some of them. A shout for ‘$1,000 Wedding’ though, which is a Gram Parsons song they’ve covered before, is a step too far for Juliana. She recoils in horror, reveals a dislike of Gram Parsons and complains that she can never get Evan to take his records off her stereo. Then someone yells ‘Streets of Baltimore’ another Gram Parsons song. ‘Yeah, I’ll do that’ cries Evan, I think Juliana gives up at that point and disappears.

They seem to be totally making this up as they go along but I’m not complaining as Juliana chucks in ‘Ugly’ having previously given us ‘My Sister’. Playing it doesn’t go that smoothly though. She blames her guitar which she found in her mother’s garage and then apologises for blaming her tools, hating people who make excuses.

Then Evan was taking another request off the crowd with Juliana just telling him to give the people what they want while she puts her feet up. Cue ‘Laying Up With Linda’

The audience is pretty much split into two camps, Juliana fans and Ewan fans, with a bit of crossover. Evan’s ‘Into Your Arms’ and ‘The Outdoor Type’ win the singalong contest but Juliana offers some great highs too, ‘Candy Wrappers’, ‘Waiting For Heaven’ and a great cover of Teenage Fan Club’s ‘Cells’.

After a slightly shaky start, they seem to bring the best out of each other and what really shines through is that both have excellent voices. The only problem with the venue is the very subdued lighting. It’s not good for photography and I hate using flash. However Juliana likes it and complains when they turn it up, so back down it goes.

Then after a closing ‘My Drug Buddy’ they go off and the house PA comes back on. No encore?

After raucous protests from the crowd Evan reappears briefly before heading off to drag Juliana back. She appears alone and plays a slightly stumbling version of ‘Nirvana’ but she sees it through and then launches into ‘I Picked You Up’ all with Evan nowhere to be seen.

Then she goes and he appears to round off the night with a rousing ‘Big Gay Heart’. Then sadly it really is all over but a 24 song night, so all in all, a bit special.

Now I'm off home to that better offer.

Socialite

I hobble for the bus on the thighs that are clearly not mine. It’s going to be a long road back to 1:40 half marathons. As I inched my way along I could hear MD saying good morning to everyone. He's so socialite.

This evening I’m out with a couple of old school friends, only yet again one of them cancels at the last minute. That’s becoming a bit of a habit, although he’s probably just trying to keep a wide berth from the reunion my other friend is trying to plan. I should be doing the same but I’m not sure how this internet phobic friend of mine is going to organise a successful reunion without modern technology.

We have a few beers in the Brunswick and then something unhealthy and pizza shaped from Antibo. We finish and I’m a bit too early for the bus, so I wait in Quad with a coffee. A coffee that’s scalding real hot, a real rarity these days, and I struggle to down it in time to get my bus.

(Wednesday 28th November)

An Unfit Person’s Thighs

I was late this morning because for some reason I had a problem getting out of bed. Then I was even later because the traffic was terrible even at that time. Borrowash, bizarrely, was totally gridlocked. So I ended parked up at my Mum’s at 8.05, due at work at 8.45 and it takes 40 minutes to do the run, for a fit person.

This was my first run for five weeks and the knee throbbed at first but then seemed to settle down ok. It probably helped that I stopped a couple of times for a good cough. Then there was the bit where I had to ease up and teeter along the river bank where it was flooded. So quite eventful really, although I was late for work. L has offered to shove me out of bed next time but that won’t be necessary.

The nominations for Sports Personality of the Year have been announced and why you can’t argue (much) with who’s been included, one can ask where’s Laura Trott’s name? Not only double Olympic champion but also double world champion in the same year, which is a better CV this year than most of the nominees including a certain Mr Hoy. No Alistair Brownlee either, ok so he was injured most of the year and didn’t bag the world title but it was some comeback to win the Olympic medal instead.

The run in this morning was from my parents’ house with the problem being I’ve now got to get back there. So another five miles in the opposite direction, after which my knee is still fine but I’m coughing well and my thighs hurt like an unfit person’s thighs.

There’s a match tonight against league leaders Cardiff which finishes 1-1. Cardiff were poor, which shows what a poor league this is. They seemed to come for a point and were only intent on stopping us playing by whatever means. I felt a bit sorry for the player they had sent off because they had two or three who deserved to go and to be honest, he wasn’t one of them. Cardiff may well go up, they are well organised side and that might be enough this year.

I head home, after a pint with my folks, keeping an eye out for Doggo. Whom L has said she will be tying to a lamppost at the end of our street. I take it he’s been a bit of a pain tonight.

(Tuesday 27th November)

Late But Stood Up Anyway

I attempt to hurtle back from work to meet the floor man at 5.30 but it’s not easy to hurtle anywhere by car these days. A gridlocked A52 means it’s nearly 6.00 by the time I get home. Not surprisingly he’s not there but then when I ring up to apologise, I find he stood me up anyway. We need to reschedule.

Also not happening tonight is dog training which is hardly surprising considering the rain we’ve had.

Like yesterday’s race though, running goes ahead and L heads off to Derby to run with friends from where I can now pick her up later.

(Monday 26th November)

A Dose Of The Unusual

Today we’re in the grounds of the 13th century Coombe Abbey. I’m well wrapped up in my waterproof, walking boots and have just been handed a bag of sweets. They look after the supporters around here. L meanwhile is in running gear and stood practically ankle deep in a waterlogged field, probably debating with herself whether to take her coat off or not. Some others have decided on ‘not’.

Previous comments on this race include the words bomb craters, frozen molehills and hurdles only this year you can delete frozen and replace it with wet, very wet. One does like to read the small print before one enters a race. Not that L will be fazed; she likes a dose of the unusual. It also looks like they’re selling bacon butties over there, where would you rather be?

The hurdlers turn out to be just bales of hay, and just the one bale high, so nothing of Survival Of The Fittest proportions. The bomb craters are also apparently not too bad but then there’s the water... there’s plenty of that with the footpaths and bridges flooded to the extent that I would be well over my boots should I have ventured in that direction. So I think I’ll stay put.

They all seemed to enjoy themselves though and the hot soup they are handed at the end.

Afterwards we head into Leamington for lunch with Son, which is harder than it looks as both the Wetherspoons pubs are heaving. We get a space eventually.

In the evening, we pop into town to the Hand & Heart briefly before I drag L towards the Old Peculiar at the Peacock. Which is very nice although surprisingly L stays on the wine all night.

(Sunday 25th November)

Hunted

An odd day mainly due to Derby having a game moved to 5.20pm. At least it means we can laze in bed, I can take the dogs out and then we can continue the quest to find some suitable flooring for our lounge, now that we’ve been told we can’t have wood. We arrange for a chap to come see us about some vinyl flooring on Monday.

I also get chance to fix the bathroom light which inexplicably decided to stop working last week. So now we can ditch the candles, which are not just nicely decorative but also necessary for having a pee.

Wednesday’s Feeder gig may have been the best they’ve done in years but it seems the last night of their tour in Brixton topped even that. A five song encore including a threesome from 1996 - Sweet 16, Descend and Shade. Things do not get any better than that if you’re a Feeder old git.

The late game turns out to be quite good and Derby win a ‘sort of thriller’ over Birmingham 3-2.

Later we watch the first episode of ‘Hunted’, yes we’re a bit late to the party on this one.

(Saturday 24th November)

Playing Safe

Cough cough. So, no bike again, I think it’s best to play it safe. I’m certainly not going anywhere near the car though, not with the current traffic problems. Then the bus glides serenely through because there’s no traffic today. Bizarre.

L says that although it's Friday, can we break with tradition ever so slightly? If she can get a DVD cheaply will I watch ‘The Other Boleyn Girl’ with her. She’s needs to do her Tudors research, but more specifically the Boleyns, for her latest read.

She’s asking me to substitute David Soul singing Silver Lady on TOPT 1977 for Natalie Portman? She drives a hard bargain. I’m sure I’ll cope though, Natalie and I go way back.

Although as she plays Anne, she’ll probably get beheaded and I don’t think I’m spoiling the ending too much by revealing that. Unless they’ve written history of course... wouldn’t be the first time.

Apparently The Other Boleyn Girl called Mary isn't beheaded. I bet that’s the part played by Scarlet Johanssen. Bloody typical. Anne was also said to be flat chested and unattractive unlike her sister. Natalie really ought to have words with her agent.

L finds it on sale for £3 and comes home with that as well as two skirts and some black tights that I’ve bought for her. I have such good taste. Prodigious use of the joint credit card it seems which is ok, I did offer. All I require as recompense is a fashion show later.

(Friday 23rd November)