As Nice As These Things Can Be

Just the one day at work this week which is Monday and which I do WFH. 

Tuesday is my Mum’s Funeral which goes well and is actually a really nice day. As nice as these things can be. The funeral at Markeaton Crematorium is bookended by big band dance music from my Mum and Dad’s youth, Stardust by Artie Shaw and Skyliner by Charlie Barnet, with a bit of Robbie Williams’ Heaven From Here in the middle. My brother delivers a great eulogy and we all manage to hold it together, just about. Given the fact my Mum would have hated us making a fuss, I think she would have approved.

The wake at The Farmhouse goes well where and, as is often the case at funerals, you get to meet up with people you haven’t seen since a previous major life event. This is perhaps not quite true of my three cousins on my Mum’s side who turn up not having seen two of them since the early 1980s and the other not since my Gran died in 1998. It’s a surprise but a nice one.

Wednesday and Thursday is spent setting up my Club’s dog show at Locko Park but punctuated by Wednesday night’s The Run at Breaston. There is some confusion as I rush home to pick up L without telling her while she was in the process of getting the bus to meet me at the race but we get it together in the end.

This four miler that we’ve done several times before, this is my 6^th time, starts and finishes at the Navigation pub where we set up my Dad up to watch. It’s not the most exciting of routes but it’s a good leg stretch for those of us trying to get back into running. A long leg stretch in my case, nearly 34 minutes worth. Slower than the 29 I did last time in 2019 but I wasn’t hobbling as much then and way off the 25s I did back in the day when I was a ‘younger’ person.

Friday to Sunday is the actual dog show which goes well from an organising point of view but less so from The Lad point of view. It’s all a bit too much for him and he gets progressively agitated by the whole thing which ends up on Sunday with someone rather unfairly reporting him for going into the next ring. Not that anything ever happens when anyone does that.

My Dad comes every day and has a great time, particularly as he gets a free meal every day.

(Sunday 31^st July)

Sounds Like A Pleasant Afternoon Out

This week they promise us two days of temperatures in the high 30s Celsius. Pretty much everyone waits it out by staying at home and indoors. The Lad finds it a bit tough but we do manage to pop and do a few weaves from time to time. Tuesday’s dog training is cancelled. 

L is the rebel in the office and even goes to the gym. Although she avoids the pool which she expects to be like Ibiza. Then the building she works in closes, which she isn’t happy about, and send everyone home at the hottest time of the day.

Despite the heat I head over to Derby on Wednesday evening for a not-so-wild night out with my friend from school and by Thursday it’s even cool enough to play Tennis.

Then on Friday it chucks it down as I cycle in to work as the light drizzle they forecast becomes rather heavy.

On Saturday we ponder going to our local music festival Splendour, which is on for two days this year, but don’t as there’s only two acts I want to see and no one L wants to see. We did go four years out of five up to 2015 before we then did three years at Thunder Run instead. Now it just seems a lot more expensive than it used to be and presumably the beer tent still sells out as soon as you arrive.

Wollaton Parkrun is cancelled because of Splendour, so we run at Beeston instead which was always a nightmare with a dog because it’s so narrow but it isn’t too bad without one.

In the afternoon Derby have a friendly against Leicester and although I hate friendlies I offer to take my Dad, who is thrilled. L says it ‘sounds like a pleasant afternoon out’ but she doesn't mean that.

On Sunday we are at another dog show this time in Rutland. We open with an E but a not too horrific one. Then he gets around a course with just 10 faults which was due to him not even considering his contacts but the rest of it was good. Which was promising for our next run but it’s the hope that kills you as he reverts to being a nutter again.

In the evening we walk to the Good Fellow George for the drink I badly need.

(Sunday 24^th July)

Winning By Being Last

Wordle gradually takes up more of my mornings. Today’s previously unheard of word was toughie and I only cracked it by basically spending an hour typing in random letters from the few I had left to find a valid word. 

Spending the time on this was only possible because our FY23 Kick Off, no me neither, which I was supposed to be watching online didn’t happen because the technology collapsed. So I missed out on watching fitness guru Joe Wicks who was the guest speaker, no me neither. 

The Lad is at the vets on Tuesday for his Kennel Cough jab so that we can put him in kennels while we’re at the Commonwealth Games. Then I find out that our usual kennels are not free. This is due to it being August and we never usually need the kennels in August. Luckily our back up plan, Babbington Kennels, can squeeze him in. He looks thrilled.

I bike to work on Wednesday and find that we finally have new neighbours where my brother’s company was. They didn’t bother coming back after lockdown. Our new neighbours aren’t really using any car parking spaces which used to be the main problem with having neighbours but then nor are we these days. Today there’s just three of us in the office.

I do my gym workout at lunchtime and then in the evening it’s dog training.

On Thursday we meet up with the Celebrant who will be conducting my Mum’s funeral and we finally get everything sorted. One prayer, three poems, three pieces of music and my brother doing the eulogy. We’ve also chosen five photos for the Order of Service but as I point out there’s nothing from the last 40 years which is a shame but my Mum would certainly approve.

In the evening with the outdoor tennis courts being closed we play tennis in the big bubble thing where my opponent nearly dies of heat exhaustion. Personally I didn’t think it was too bad at all.

On Friday another person jumps ship at work and hands in their notice. They’ll be no leaving do in Derby though as they are based down south.

I receive my renewal documents for the RAC and while I’m not quibbling about the overall cost it is priced in a very odd way. It’s £4.98 a year plus a £33 admin fee.

On Saturday we don’t Parkrun because L and Daughter are running the Crich Monument 10K. Which isn’t actually 10k and is more like 11K or something like that, they don’t seem sure. I spectate because as I recall this was one of my least favourite races of all time and my least favourite races list is a long list. I still have nightmares about it twelve years on.

The two of them say with confidence that they will be last but they’re not and the guy who is last wins a bottle of Champagne for being last. They will need to try harder if they do it again. Clearly he’d ‘won’ it before because he blatantly went out of his way to make sure he was last.

I bring my Dad along to watch and he has a great time although we spend most of it in the beer tent. There’s even a WWII flypast.

On Sunday we have a night out in Canning Circus, the Good Fellow George and the Borlase, with the Lad.

(Sunday 17^th July)

The Long Winding Saga

The long winding saga of the future of Derby County is finally resolved as they are taken over by local businessman David Clowes and at the same time Wayne Rooney departs. Rooney goes back to America which is a very strange career move and probably has a lot to do with him being heavily involved in the failed takeover attempt by American Chris Kirchner. Kirchner now looks like ending up in jail and has run off with about £2M borrowed from Rooney’s agent. Nothing is ever simple at Derby. 

L runs with Daughter after work, running from her place to ours from where they want to link up with the Lad and do a few km with him. Estimated ETA 6:15 aka tea time + 15 e.g. tea time needs to be delayed. He’s not going to like that.

On Tuesday morning my Dad, my Brother and I meet at the funeral directors to discuss my Mum’s funeral. I thought that this would take an hour at most but that’s my Brother and Father for you. The debate started at the funeral directors and continued for a few hours afterwards at my Dad’s place. We do at least have a provisional date - Tuesday 26th July.

Which will hopefully be ok as we are still waiting for the outcome of the Inquest which has been called because she died of something the hospital gave her.

Sajid Javid and Rishi Sunak quit the Government. About time you might say. Most sane people would have quit a couple of years ago. Then again, most sane people did quit a couple of years ago.

The Prime Minister still doesn’t take the hint and it takes another two days until he quits himself.

Derby County Season tickets finally on sale on Wednesday with the start of the season just over two weeks away. By the end of the week they’ve already sold 15,000.

I bike to work then spend the morning pondering whether I can crawl as far as the gym at lunchtime and if I do whether I’d then be capable of cycling home.

L is also in work, so the Lad in on his own. From what I can see on the CCTV he is trying to looked pissed off but it’s coming over as chilled.

Daughter is going to a friend’s gym in Netherfield where she is worried everyone will be ‘hench’. Which is a new word on me. I’ll have to watch out for that one on Wordle.

L says I’m hench which makes me wonder why Daughter is worried about a gym full of old people with no knees.  

There’s no tennis this week as all the outdoor courts are closed. If they have a tournament on they’re keeping quiet about it.

On Saturday L Parkruns at Forest Rec while I’m at a Dog Show at Catton Hall.

My Dad comes along to watch the carnage. Run one is indeed hopeless. Run two is much better and in fact obstacles 1 to 11 are flawless. It was just such a shame about number 12. Run three... let’s talk about Run four instead which wasn’t bad with 15 faults.

We adjourn to the nearby Swan, to have a beer obviously and a late lunch. In the evening L and I walk with the Lad to Beeston and spend the evening in the Pottle of Blues.

On Sunday, the Commonwealth Games Queen’s Baton Relay comes to Nottingham Castle and we go along to watch. It’s a nice idea but they couldn’t have made it any more low key if they’d tried. The runners appear to arrive in a bus they park out of sight around the corner, then they jog through the castle before sneaking out some back way where nobody could see where they’ve gone before getting back on the bus. It was alright but the Olympics it certainly wasn’t. 

(Sunday 10^th July)

A Sad Ending

I get a call first thing Monday morning from the hospital to say that my Mum has died overnight. It’s a shock, as we didn’t expect it to be so quick, but in a way it was also a relief that it was so quick. 

My Dad and I had a pleasant evening with her the night before, although brief, where she did at least manage to acknowledge that we were there.

Overall it seems a rather low key ending to almost 94 years on this planet but that again is probably not a bad thing. If anyone could be said to be ‘ready to go’ it was my Mum.

I ring my brother who is currently away on holiday and then we go around to see my Dad to break the sad news in person. In order to lighten the mood we look for somewhere for lunch. Having failed miserably to find a local café we end up at the Trent Lock pub at, obviously, Trent Lock. Somewhere I haven’t been since I was a teenager. We did used to go there quite a lot as kids, so it also seemed oddly appropriate.

Having taken the Monday off work for obvious reasons I am told by work to take a second day off but don’t really know what to do with it. So after giving my Dad a bit of time on his own I go over to see him and we go for a walk on Elvaston Park then go to a pub, naturally. This time the New Inn at Shardlow.

On Wednesday I do go back to work and actually into work by bike. Surprisingly I remember how to do it in what was my first bike ride of June. Good job it’s only the 29th.

Unfortunately I am now almost as bruised as L is, but from bite marks, after getting between the Lad and one of his least favourite other dogs. L is improving now and has managed to return to some of her exercise classes despite her deer inflicted bruises but not yet her yoga, which appears to be a step too far. 

I am mainly in work because I have a lunch date where I get to hear the latest about life in retirement. L is very jealous of life in retirement.

Thursday is Tennis and on Friday I go over to see my Dad again. Not to miss out L joins us as we’re bound to end up in a pub. Yep. Another evening in the New Inn.

On Saturday I Parkrun at Wollaton, while L tail walks. She has a run later in the Smalley 5 Bells race which starts at 5pm. She was a member of the Smalley club when they did a test run of this event pre-Covid and now they’ve finally managed to run it for real.

There’s another meal out with my Dad on Sunday when we take him for lunch at the Clock Warehouse in Shardlow. We’ll all be fat and alcoholics at this rate.

(Sunday 3^rd July)

Guardians Of Lime Tree Avenue

L and the Lad get rammed by one of the deer on Wollaton Park. Part of some vigilante group known as ‘The Guardians of Lime Tree Avenue’, or something like that, that she says she was warned about the other week. Battered and bruised she spends the week WFH. The Lad is fine but I think he hid behind L. 

Tuesday is tennis and then Wednesday is our Civil Partnership with Daughter and Son as witnesses but sadly Covid strikes and Son can’t make it. My Dad is a very willing stand in and has a great morning out in Nottingham especially as we bring him into the city centre on the tram all the way from Toton. Which is a first for me as well as for him.

Then I have a Committee Meeting in Shardlow on Thursday as we complete preparations for our Summer Show.

I visit my Mum in hospital every other day with my Dad insisting on the calming influence of a pint in a pub afterwards. On the Friday L comes over to do some cleaning for my Dad and meets us in his local White Hart afterwards with the Lad of course.

Sadly my Mum’s Covid has now progressed to pneumonia. She isn’t responding to the antibiotics and as my Mum is so weak they have started end of life care.

On Saturday L and Daughter parkrun at Colwick where they also eye up the post-parkrun open water swimming. They decide to return the next day for the Sunday morning swim. The Lad and I again support.

On Saturday evening we go for a curry with some friends of mine who we haven’t seen properly since before the pandemic apart from me doorstepping them one evening and last month’s Feeder gig. We meet in the new, but now dwindling in favour with us because it is too noisy, Whistle and Flute. Then we go to Mem Saab where we meet up with Daughter, whose birthday it is today. Afterwards we discover that both the Royal Children and the Ned Ludd no longer have any real ale which is disappointing.

After Sunday’s visit to the hospital the four of us, my Dad, L, the Lad and me go for Roast beef cobs in Exeter. Where we also get an offer to swap the Lad for two rabbits. It’s considered but declined.

(Sunday 26^th June)

Humongous Efforts

I take my Dad to visit my Mum in hospital at least every other day which usually ends up with him insisting on a pint somewhere. I am seriously being led astray. We don’t revisit the Nags Head but he quite likes the Hole In The Wall in Mickleover although we also try the Masons. He’s also a big fan of the Exeter in Derby itself. The Masons is now under new Management and when we go there it is packed, which is good obviously but have they improved the beer range? No. Still as dull as ever. 

On Tuesday L does Wordle in 1. That’s just luck.

Tuesday is dog training, Thursday is tennis and Friday I am in work for, yes you guessed it, yet another leaving do. I am unreliably informed that it will just be pizza at lunch time, so at first I plan to cycle there but then it becomes clear it will involve some after work drinks in the Brunswick as well. So I ditch that idea but I do manage a lunchtime gym session after which a couple of slices of pizza is a decent way to refuel from my humongous efforts.

Meanwhile L is at home with the Lad, having to keep him indoors as our neighbour has their four legged lodger over again. It’s way too hot for them both to be hurling themselves at the fence that separates them. Which means he won’t be practicing his tunnels in readiness for Saturday's dog show.

Which may have paid dividends as he does one run that isn’t an Elimination and despite clocking up 20 faults gets a rosette for 5^th place. Don’t tell him but this is the benefits of a small and inexperienced field. Meanwhile, while we are out, L goes off fraternising with the enemy lodger.

The really bad news is that my Mum has now caught Covid and has had to go into an isolation ward. We can still visit her but now need to wear full PPE of masks, visor, apron and gloves. They had been talking of moving her out of hospital to a more appropriate place for her recovery but now they can’t move her for another ten days.

On Sunday it is the Derby Half Marathon and weather conditions are much better for this year’s race but then last year’s had been put back to November where I nearly died of hypothermia waiting to get my bag back from the baggage tent. This year they have also restored the Ramathon name after needlessly removing it when they took over the running of the race in 2018. Unfortunately they've also added the name Derbion to the front of it, Derbion being this week's name for Derby's main shopping centre.

I am of course nowhere near fit enough for this race but I struggle on regardless. L is again doing the 5 miler and my Dad has come to support. We have dropped him off in the Market Place with a chair and instructions of where best to watch us both start and finish.

When I start he is in position but by the time L starts ten minutes later he’s gone AWOL. L retrieves him later from a café from where he’d headed to for a Full English. Which I’m sure was much enjoyable than watching us run.

The route is the same as usual. Out along the main roads to Elvaston, then through the Castle grounds before heading back along the river and through Pride Park.

I was relatively pleased with November’s run where I went from 8:30ish miles to 9:30ish miles and finished in 1:57. Here I start in the 9s and degrade into the 10s, struggling home in 2:04. Not the best. 

(Sunday 19^th June)

Simply No Staying Power

I am out for a few drinks in Derby with my pal from school on Tuesday and then on Wednesday I am in work to take the car in for its annual Car service. They promise me it will be done by lunchtime and for once they are actually right. Which catches me out a bit because I was in the gym at the time. 

In the evening it’s dog training and the first one I’ve been to for a very long time with only one dog in the car. It is also not one of the Lad’s better nights but then he’s had a traumatic week.

On Thursday we all go to collect MD from the crematorium. Along with his ashes they provide a paw print in plaster and a rather nice lock of his fur.

In between all this I visit my Mum in hospital when I can. She is still very confused by everything but her operation, which was cancelled twice, finally went ahead on Wednesday. Meanwhile the woman in the next bed is trying to escape and has to have a nurse permanently guarding her. I just hope they don’t try to gang up.

On Thursday, after our visit, I take my Dad to the Nags Head in Mickleover. It’s nice to occasionally live life on the edge and experience a bit of rough plus it has a handy car park.

L has a massive falling out with Dyson, her other man. She complains that despite having him on charge for the whole of the afternoon, he dies on her after only ten minutes in the bedroom. Simply no staying power.

I promise to get her a new toy to play with but she does seem to fall out with all of them. Well apart from the Miele, she remained on good terms with that one until Son blew it up hoovering up a bath leak. She does also get on well with my Dad's vacuum. That one has a cable, so she says she can be spontaneous with him, just plug and play without having to charge him up all afternoon.

On Saturday L Parkuns at Alvaston and again the Lad and I support. It must have been very frustrating for him because Alvaston has been the scene of all our best times.

On Saturday we go to a BBQ held at my nomadic friend's house after their latest house move takes them to Scalford near Melton Mowbray. They had invited the dogs which wasn’t a goer while MD was ill but now we can take the Lad. Who has a wild time intimidating another friend’s dog.

It’s not a heavy night of drinking, we have to drive anyway, because on Sunday the Lad and I are running 10k at the Grimsthorpe Gallop. Whether this is good training or not for next week’s Ramathon I’m not sure but it seems to be the only training I'm doing.

It’s a chaotic start with an all dog field but this could have been much worse as there's only 20 of us. L gets to start later in the saner human field. The dogs are doing one of three distances. Four do 10 miles, nine do 5k and seven do 10k. 

The route is mostly off road with lots of grit paths which aren't really my forte. There's even a river crossing which we avoid and take the bridge but the photographer gets a really good photo of us that ends up on the results email. Pace wise the Lad keeps me at a 'reasonable' nine minute mile pace and stops me slacking.We finish 4^th in our category which obviously sounds good but is very mid table when there's only seven of you..

(Sunday 12^th June)

A Subdued Boy

On Saturday L and Daughter parkrun at Gedling with the Lad and I on vocal support but with one less voice raised in support obviously. In the evening we had planned a long delayed meal out at the Corinthian but we cancel it. Opting to stay in with the Lad with a curry, plenty of beer and the Queen's Jubilee concert. Which isn’t as bad as you’d expect, tacky at times but still quite good. 

On Sunday we take the Lad for a walk on the park and end up in the park café where he is totally cool with all the dogs that are in there. MD was always on edge in situations like that and the Lad always seemed to want to have his back but now he doesn’t have to. He can be himself although he’s quite a subdued boy at the moment. The dog he always pretended not to notice is now not there and he’s really noticed that. We console him with a Puppachino.

On Sunday evening my Mum has a fall and dislocates her hip. The wait for a ‘non-emergency’ ambulance is six hours. My brother goes round to help and eventually gets one to come for her in only three hours.

They plan to rush her into surgery on Monday afternoon but then cancel it, so I take my Dad to visit her in hospital. She’s not very coherent as you might expect at her age, with dementia and a broken hip, so they ask me to go with her while they gave her a head scan in case she’s banged it. That didn’t go down very well with her, what with being lifted on and off a trolley with a broken hip.

The first few day walking the Lad post-MD are strange with him seemingly eager to head home from his walk with L to see if MD and I are walking up to meet them. Only to be met by just me. The sad little boy lays morosely in his bed for a while after that.

When I go to Sainsbury’s, I close the gate wondering if he might jump it but he just stays in his bed.

On his next walk he takes his frustrations out on a cat that was perched on the fence by the golf course. I hadn’t seen it but the Lad jumped up and pushed if off the fence with his front paws. The cat fell on to the golf course and looked a bit stunned at what has just happened.

(Monday 6^th June)

MD RIP

Monday’s shopping list includes minced chicken and liver for MD. His diet is currently a fast moving target.

I have started walking him up to catch the end of L and the Lad's morning walk, when she takes him, so that gets him out of the house and makes him sleep for the rest of morning even though it’s hardly gargantuan distances. That said, I do have to keep hauling him in from the garden. He just doesn't know what's good for him.

Tuesday is dog training and on Wednesday tennis is back, sadly, and tennis in the rain at that.

It’s not particularly nice cycling weather so I don’t bother going into work this week. It is only a three day week anyway.

On Thursday, four days of jubilee celebrations and holiday start with MD eating a full breakfast but then as I cut the hedge he has another funny turn. He totally loses his balance and his eyeballs are twitching which Google says is a classic symptom of Vestibular disease of which he could recover but if it’s caused by something in his brain, say like a tumour he won’t.

Given what happened a month ago and the fact he’s not back to anywhere near like he was after that, the prognosis isn’t good.

We have a very iffy night with him and when he can barely walk or seemingly see straight in the morning we contact the out of hours vet at Priory as yet again he’s ill on a bank holiday. The vet offers treatment for the Vestibular disease but obviously with no guarantees. Sadly though we’ve already decided to end his obvious distress.

Daughter, L and I say a tearful goodbye as he visibly relaxes in my arms, his eyeballs stop twitching and he properly chills out in my arms for the first time in a while and for the very last time.

That’s the end of fourteen years with my Crufts silver medallist, 50 parkrun partner and the sweetest oddball dog who never achieved the heights of being the alpha dog in our pack but never actually wanted to. We’ll scatter him on Wollaton Park so he can be with Doggo and from where on a quiet day I’m sure we’ll be able to hear him barking at nothing.  

We head round to my parents to pass on the sad news. Then we take the Lad down to a couple of pubs in Beeston, Pottle of Blues and the Crown, to drown our sorrows.
 

(Friday 3rd June)