Eclipse

On the bike again, I pretty much need to do three days every week from now on until my Half Ar*** Ironman.

Today all the young ladies from the call centre across the road are out in the street staring at the sky in their sunglasses and short skirts. That last bit is irrelevant but thought I’d mention it anyway. We just have a peer out of the window.

We also looked at the eclipse but mainly on the BBC, who are mostly on jollies to the Isle Of Lewis and the Faroes to watch it. Both looked impressive.

Someone here is constructing something with two pieces of card and a pencil. It makes you wish you’d paid more attention during Blue Peter but it doesn’t work anyway. L mentions that if you missed all the action you can reproduce the TV images with a Malteser and a torch. Clearly she did pay attention.

Derby have another game tonight and lose again, despite dominating. They simply can’t score at the moment with both their main strikers out injured and then got caught on the break. Not looking good.

(Friday 20^th March)

Their Future In Her Hands

Daughter is call centre training today for a job to help students through University clearing. Their future in her hands... sounds fun, no pressure. She got the job after she gave the ‘worst interview of her life’. Which we took with a pinch of salt. We're used to her doing the ‘worse exam of her life’ and passing with flying colours.

She has a leisurely 8.45am start, which apparently will kill her. I can see who doesn’t make many 9am lectures.

Now here I am cycling to work, training hard on the bike for Rio 2016 and what are our athletes doing? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well, except for Trotty.

It appears that an Omnium Gold medal comes with a free Jason Kenny. At least we now know where he put in the extra sessions that enabled him to out-sprint Baugé.

This may all be a smokescreen for a medal free day at the Olympics. I'm expecting the resignation of the head of UK Sport. It’s simply not good enough.

I bike home, cut the lawn and exercise the dogs. Any triathlon Alistair Brownlie can do I can do better.

(Wednesday 8th August)

Lucky Escapes

I was supposed to be cycling today but I was delayed and ended up taking the car instead. It was perhaps a lucky escape as it soon began raining heavily again. Meaning it’s not looking good for tennis tonight.

Then having checked the Tennis Centre’s online booking system, I see there are no courts available anyway because there’s a tournament on. Then again, there was a tournament on the other week and they still let us play once the tournament games were over for the day.

So I rang them up and find that the phone number now directs to a call centre. Thankfully not in Bangalore, only Woodthorpe. The woman there asks me to hang in while she pulls up the same online screen that I’m currently looking at... so no help there then, and there is no longer a phone number to call the centre direct. All three of the phone numbers I have for the Tennis Centre now redirect.

I drop in on my way home, where the woman on the desk pulls up... the same online screen. I ask her to look out of the window where the majority of the courts sit idle but she won’t, ‘the system says...’

It’s now raining again. Perhaps another lucky escape.

So, feeling guilty after a no exercise day, I go in the gym and do 15k on the bike, followed by a paltry 3k run as a cool down. L is in a fitness class, pumping, so when she comes out and scrapes me off the treadmill we go for a pint at the Victoria and participate in their chilli con carne tasting contest.

(Thursday 19th July)

A Confusing Version Of The Alphabet

British Gas have talked us into fitting a filter to our hot water system, if we don’t, they have threatened (gently) to revoke the service contact for our boiler. Isn’t that called blackmail?

Therefore L works from home today, so that someone can come and fit said filter. The guy turns up but without the filter... which is really useful, as this is the only reason for him coming. He promises to be back in an hour, once he’s acquired it.

Only he isn’t. He telephones me to say he’s not coming back because he can't get the part. The part that was the reason for the appointment... So, that’s the second day of ours that British Gas has wasted this year and we’re only just into February. I ring to complain but get absolutely nowhere with their call centre, where the right hand clearly doesn’t know what the left hand is doing, let alone what the hands of it’s engineers aren't doing.

I daren't ask L to be in the next time they come, she'll do serious harm to the engineer with one of her knitting needles.

We both need a drink after that. So it’s a good job it’s the Derby Winter Beer Festival tonight. L comes over on the bus and I meet her there, at the Roundhouse, which is just a short crawl from where I work.

There is a good selection of beers, decent chilli con carne and some good cheeses as well. So a top night apart from a confusing use of the alphabet. The beers are supposed to be in alphabetical order but I think the organiser had had a few when he set them out.

Some beers seemed to be randomly inserted e.g. a Gloucester beer among the ‘B’s. We also found a lot of beers that were listing were missing but then found them on a ‘dark ales’ stall in another room or on the separate ‘Derbyshire’ stall and all the Marstons beers were amongst the T’s for some reason... We were confused, others were confused, even the staff seemed confused. Can we have a map next time please or else I might have to not drink so that I can unravel the system.

My favourite brew, Snecklifter (not that I had any but L had two pints!), was also listed as Marston’s from Staffordshire, that’s just plain wrong. It’s either Marston’s Jennings Brewery from Cumbria or Jennings Brewery (owned by Marston’s) from Cumbria.

Marstons to my knowledge, do not brew a drop of Snecklifter in Burton. Same goes for Ringwood’s Old Thumper, also listed as Staffordshire. It’s hard to criticise breweries for deceptive labelling when beer festivals are at it as well.

This is what we drank, although L cunningly mixed halves and thirds to stay more sober than me.

Me

1. Copthorne Black Beauty 4.6%
2. Elland 1872 Porter 6.5%
3. Raw Dark Peak Reserve 6.0%
4. Great Oakley Delapre Dark 4.6%
5. Nutbrook More 4.8%
6. Townes Pynot Porter 4.5%
7. Grainstore Nip 7.3%
8. Fulstow Sledgehammer Stout 7.4%
9. Steel City Dark Funeral 5.3%

L

1. Jennings Snecklifter 5.1%
2. Griffin Bmw 5.0%
3. Five Towns Winter Warmer 5.7%
4. Jennings Snecklifter 5.1%
5. Thornbridge St Petersberg Stout 7.4%
6. Jennings Snecklifter 5.1%
7. Nobbys T-owd Navigation 6.1%
8. Jennings Snecklifter 5.1%
9. Parish Bazs Bonce Blower 12%

(Thursday 16th February)