A Confusing Version Of The Alphabet

British Gas have talked us into fitting a filter to our hot water system, if we don’t, they have threatened (gently) to revoke the service contact for our boiler. Isn’t that called blackmail?

Therefore L works from home today, so that someone can come and fit said filter. The guy turns up but without the filter... which is really useful, as this is the only reason for him coming. He promises to be back in an hour, once he’s acquired it.

Only he isn’t. He telephones me to say he’s not coming back because he can't get the part. The part that was the reason for the appointment... So, that’s the second day of ours that British Gas has wasted this year and we’re only just into February. I ring to complain but get absolutely nowhere with their call centre, where the right hand clearly doesn’t know what the left hand is doing, let alone what the hands of it’s engineers aren't doing.

I daren't ask L to be in the next time they come, she'll do serious harm to the engineer with one of her knitting needles.

We both need a drink after that. So it’s a good job it’s the Derby Winter Beer Festival tonight. L comes over on the bus and I meet her there, at the Roundhouse, which is just a short crawl from where I work.

There is a good selection of beers, decent chilli con carne and some good cheeses as well. So a top night apart from a confusing use of the alphabet. The beers are supposed to be in alphabetical order but I think the organiser had had a few when he set them out.

Some beers seemed to be randomly inserted e.g. a Gloucester beer among the ‘B’s. We also found a lot of beers that were listing were missing but then found them on a ‘dark ales’ stall in another room or on the separate ‘Derbyshire’ stall and all the Marstons beers were amongst the T’s for some reason... We were confused, others were confused, even the staff seemed confused. Can we have a map next time please or else I might have to not drink so that I can unravel the system.

My favourite brew, Snecklifter (not that I had any but L had two pints!), was also listed as Marston’s from Staffordshire, that’s just plain wrong. It’s either Marston’s Jennings Brewery from Cumbria or Jennings Brewery (owned by Marston’s) from Cumbria.

Marstons to my knowledge, do not brew a drop of Snecklifter in Burton. Same goes for Ringwood’s Old Thumper, also listed as Staffordshire. It’s hard to criticise breweries for deceptive labelling when beer festivals are at it as well.

This is what we drank, although L cunningly mixed halves and thirds to stay more sober than me.

Me

1. Copthorne Black Beauty 4.6%
2. Elland 1872 Porter 6.5%
3. Raw Dark Peak Reserve 6.0%
4. Great Oakley Delapre Dark 4.6%
5. Nutbrook More 4.8%
6. Townes Pynot Porter 4.5%
7. Grainstore Nip 7.3%
8. Fulstow Sledgehammer Stout 7.4%
9. Steel City Dark Funeral 5.3%

L

1. Jennings Snecklifter 5.1%
2. Griffin Bmw 5.0%
3. Five Towns Winter Warmer 5.7%
4. Jennings Snecklifter 5.1%
5. Thornbridge St Petersberg Stout 7.4%
6. Jennings Snecklifter 5.1%
7. Nobbys T-owd Navigation 6.1%
8. Jennings Snecklifter 5.1%
9. Parish Bazs Bonce Blower 12%

(Thursday 16th February)