Banana Drama And Other Stories

The dogs have a new lamp to light their early evenings when we’re not home from work until after darkness has fallen e.g. the whole of November to February. The only problem is it requires a very specialised super small screw-in bulb that nobody seems to sell. Eventually I track one down at Homebase.

Even then it was hard to find. Where would you think Homebase display their bulbs? I tried the lighting section, then the electrical section but no, they are hidden underneath the stairs by the mirrors. Good job I asked or else I’d still be there now.

On the bus today and after work I head to Nottingham Castle where L is loitering on the benches by Robin himself. Tonight it’s the 40th running of the annual beer festival which gets bigger and more unwieldy every year but we are told this is a good thing. This year they have a staggering choice of 1,220 beers. I have no idea how you’re supposed to get through that lot or even make an informed choice. Therefore the decision is taken to again to attempt to drink as local as possible.

We head down to the bandstand area and find a sort of secret seating area at the back which is surrounded by local brewery stalls, food outlets and the bandstand itself where music is being played. It’s rather idyllic actually and a bit like a mini Glastonbury.

I knock back the following ales:-

Banana Drama Stout, Sperrin (Warks) 7.0%

Biscoteque Stout, Naked Beer Co (West Sussex) 5.0%

Black Pearl Stout, Crystal (East Yorks) 5.0%

Bramling Porter, Instant Karma (Clay Cross) 5.0%

Captain Hopbeard, Totally Brewed (Nottingham) 5.5%

Damn Fine Coffee Porter, Nottingham Brewery (Nottingham) 4.6%

Hawse Buckler, Oakham (Peterborough) 5.6%

Nowt Stout, Five Towns (Wakefield) 6.7%

Rise And Shine Stout, Black Iris (Nottingham) 5.2%

Steam Punk Porter, Funfair (Elston) 4.3%

L dips into some of the same selection as well as:-

Duck n' Disorderly, Mallard (Southwell) 6.0%

Ghost Train Stout, Funfair (Elston) 5.0%

Grand Papa Jangles Voodoo Stout, Totally Brewed (Nottingham) 7.0%

The Doughboy Porter, Geeves (Barnsley) 5.2%

We mop up the ABV’s with some very unathletic fish and chips followed by chocolate brownie.

(Thursday 8^th October)

Total Bedlam

All these people should not be allowed holiday at the same time, they should have to submit a detailed plan of what they intend to do on their Christmas break first and then get it approved by the rest of us before they are allowed to have extended time off.

I say this because as I head to Sainsbury’s, as I do every Monday lunchtime, it’s still total bedlam on the retail park. I’m sure people are just driving round aimlessly because they are bored. The two shops I go in, Sainsbury’s and Homebase, are both no more busy than usual yet the car parks and roads are chocka. Perhaps they’ve been stuck there since Friday, who knows. Please everyone, just hurry up and s*d off back to work so that we can get back to normal.

My diary for the months ahead looks very bleak. I intend taking the majority, if not all, of January off running so there are no runs in my diary but also no dog shows, no gigs, no sportives, not even an open water swim just a few football matches. L says look on the bright side as this leaves more time to practice my swimming. Oh the joy. Although that is actually how I spend half an hour this evening, in the pool.

 

I do tentatively pencil in the Alsager 5 in my diary on Sunday 2nd February as an appropriate place to make my running comeback. L describes it as 'that desolate thing we did last year with the crap t-shirt' but this is how low I have sunk. 

(Monday 30^th December)

Fill Your Boots

Is it legit to ring in sick for work simply because you look crap rather than actually feel crap? I suppose, for some people, any reason no matter how tenuous is a reason to skip work. I go in.

L says she hopes my work colleagues are sympathetic. Of course they’re not going to be sympathetic; my wasp sting has left me looking like one of the chipmunks.

At lunch, I go and see if my chubby cheeks will pull any of the office gals who buy their sandwiches in Sainsbury’s. Nope, everyone looks terrified.

I again venture down the ‘season aisle’ now knowing that the sudden influx of decent beer into their store is down to the Sainsbury’s Great British Beer Hunt. 

Apparently they’ve been doing this annually for years but I’ve never come across it before despite going in Sainsburys every week probably because they always hide it in the ‘seasonal aisle’. I fill my boots. Get ‘em while it lasts.

Then I go see what strange looks I can get from people in Homebase and the petrol station. Then, for an encore, I head off to see what the reaction is at the dog club committee meeting.

(Monday 16^th September)

Everyone Loves A Cheapskate?

It’s good to be back at work... at least it’s a short week. The traffic wasn’t too bad coming into work but I think this is because they’re probably all already in the queue for Sainsbury’s car park. Well that’s certainly where they all are come lunchtime and some of them have probably been there queuing since 8am. I decide not to bother joining the queue and park next door at Homebase instead, then I walk across.

Sainsbury's car park is actually half empty, it’s just the access roads that are rubbish. Inside the store it’s fairly quiet too and everything has 50% off or more. Which begs the question, why would anyone shop more than a week before Christmas? Huge blocks of Stilton - half price. Port - half price. Pate, a whole block - half price. Wrapping paper - half price. Something else that I best not mention as it's going in L's Christmas stocking - half price. Hope she loves a cheapskate

Daughter rings to say she’s been awarded a bursary. Bloody hell. How did that happen? It turns out it’s because her sixth form college in Nottingham is a ‘partnership’ college with Sheffield Hallam. Whatever that means. It’s all a bit bizarre but don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say. I imagine she’s already on the bus on her way to River Island.

L’s at another panto toinight. She really is a serial offender. The dogs and I stay in to cook stilton and port pate.

(Wednesday 21st December)