Super Safe

Today I’m at a dog show which is being held at Newark Rugby Club, the same place that which banned dogs completely last week, when it held the 10k, is awash with them this week.

This is MD’s last show at Grade 3 and to celebrate I've even got my shorts on, it’s so hot. We start with a clear round from each of the boys.

L attempts to cycle over to us. Now it’s not the most straightforward of routes, unless you use the dual carriageway for at least part of it, which I would have done. Super safe L won’t do that of course and the text message says she is ‘utterly lost’. So she’s turning round and heading home, having already achieved her aim of a three hour workout.

MD bags a second place and we get a nice agility styled trophy. His other runs aren’t bad but none of them are clear. Not bad for our last show at this level though.

(Sunday 20^th July)

Splendour In The Rain

L truncates a rare lie-in day by booking to go to pilates at 11am, although I guess this is hardly early. I also need to get the boys on the park swiftish before the festivities start and the torrential rain that is predicted.

The festivities are the Splendour Festival which once our old pals Scouting for Girls were added to the line up became unmissable obviously... well, not really. It’s becoming a bit of a tradition to go to Splendour even if, like this year, there is absolutely nothing on the main stage I fancy but the second stage looks ok, so here we are.

There are actually five different stages, but we don’t really go a wandering, and a visit from boxer Carl Froch but we don’t see him either.

The Beat are playing as we walk up, after delaying our departure due to one of the many cloudbursts. They are oddly way down the bill.

Amber Run are the first band we catch in the flesh on the Confetti second stage, just one of thirteen Nottinghamshire acts on the bill today and the first of many cut and paste indie outfits.

Saint Raymond is another local and is next up on the main stage. Singer Callum Burrows has upgraded himself to ‘Saint’ and this year Splendour have upgraded him from second stage to main but we’re in the beer tent from most of it...

And here’s another Notts act, A Plastic Rose are up on the Confetti stage. More cut and paste indie but certainly a cut above stage’s previous occupants.

Then the next downpour came, it must be something the Foxes said up on main as most of their crowd run for cover. The bouncers block the entrance to the allegedly full beer tent, which it isn't. L nips in the exit, her second most heinous festival crime after she got caught smuggling a bottle of orange squash into the Leeds festival one year and I follow. I’ve no idea why they have separate entrances to the beer tent, perhaps this is the reason.

The rain abates a bit as The Rifles take to the second stage. I saw this band eons ago and I’ve always felt I should see more of them but they don’t do anything to particularly stand out today.

You can hear Scouting For Girls quite clearly from the second stage, so there’s no need for us to move closer, even if we wanted to. In fact, there’s plenty of need to move further away but we await Reverend and the Makers who are late due to technical problems or perhaps due to a late running Scouting for Girls. The Makers arrive and launch into the irritatingly lively Bassline.

The Makers pull out everybody’s favourite tunes and put on a slick show. Unfortunately for them all those favourites hark mostly back to their debut record. Their new album provides just two tunes tonight. Still, theirs is probably the best set of the day.

I've always felt I should see The Happy Mondays before I die (or they do). Not that they're my sort of thing because they're not, just because they are sort of 'legendary'. So I try, briefly, to like them but soon decide that they are still nothing like my thing.

Along with Reverend and the Makers, tonight’s second stage headliners the Boomtown Rats are the reason I’m here. Although I’m sure The Rats couldn’t possibly top their amazing performance at Rock City last year but, to be fair, they come close. A truncated version of that set, including the same stage banter and Geldof in the same suit, goes down exceptionally well even if the crowd do ignore Sir Bob's instructions to take off their clothes.

Most of the crowd depart after the set closing Rat Trap which is a shame because Diamond Smiles in the encore probably steals the show and the Rats push the Makers close for performance of the day. McClure and co just shade it though, with the real ale tent coming in at third, as for the first time ever it lasts well into the evening this year.

Finally to close the evening there’s Tom Odell, who I don't really know and he looks about 15 although he's actually 23. So I can't even say he's a young person’s Jake Bugg, who’s not my thing either but by now we’re heading for home.

(Saturday 19^th July)

Just A Normal Sort Of Wedding

After having fixed a puncture yesterday, this morning I attempt to top the air up in it but it goes down instead. Some of the valves on these modern tubes are well dodgy but it serves me right, I should have left well alone. Eventually I get it up but now I’m running well late. Particularly as I’ve got some rain clouds to race.

L has been trying to source an appropriate card for the gay wedding reception we are going to tonight. One that doesn’t feature the words ‘have a gay day’ or a picture of two sailors snogging on it.  Eventually it's mission accomplished.

We drive to the wedding reception at Prestwold Hall. The 20 mile trip has provoked some amazingly expensive quotes from Taxi firms on Cabmania, so we take our own car.

The reception itself is fine but is disappointingly like a normal heterosexual wedding reception. I’m not sure what I was expecting but I had hoped for something ‘different’. I certainly don’t want a normal wedding reception if this fate ever befalls me. L seems to imply it might.

There’s no draught real ale obviously but they do have some decent local bottled beers, so kudos to Prestwold Hall for that.

(Friday 18^th July)

The Best Piped Music Ever

Our fibre optic broadband has gone down at work, so we now back on the more traditional mouse running around a little wheel sort of internet. My boss is just about to board a plane to Tenerife as his phone rings with the good news, so good timing obviously. Of course if he’d told anyone else how it all hangs together we wouldn’t have had to bother him.

We venture to a different pub for our lunch, the VictoriaInn on Midland Road, where they have all the gigs. The beer is decent, the food ok and probably unsurprisingly they have the best piped music ever.

Tennis is off as the Tennis Centre is shut again due to them hosting the British Wheelchair Open and the Senior Tennis GB Grass Court Tournament. It’s great that they get to host all these tournaments but you’d think they’d keep some courts open for the public because about the only time you’re guaranteed to get a court is in the winter. Which isn’t great obviously.

I have a puncture on the way home and an impressive five people stop to help. I put this down to the pleasant summer weather as this never happens when it's raining or snowing. There’s one person in a van and four on bikes. One of the cyclists was even a girl who asked if there was ‘anything I can do for you’ before probably realising what she’d said could be misconstrued and quickly pedalled off again.

(Thursday 17^th July)

Tentative Harmony In The Swimming Pool

I am (seriously) contemplating the Sundowner Half Ironman in September, so I think I best do a swim this week. I take the car to work and then afterwards risk the Wednesday laned session which is always hell because they cram everyone into three lanes whilst swimming lessons take place in the other half of the pool.

It is as bad as a I remember. The non-swimmers seem to have spilled over into the first lane as all are swimming with floats. The other two lanes both have a token back-stroker along with a couple of breast-strokers who are getting held up by then.That's something in itself.

I attempt to swim a length and fail. It’s not possible to front crawl for a whole length without having to stop or overtake someone. Another chap gets in the next lane and attempts the same thing. He fails too. Then someone starts doing butterfly. That clears one of the lanes but starts an argument and almost a fight. One chaps storms out, another moves lanes. The attendants look at their feet. Eventually there is a bit of shuffling of personnel in the lanes and a tentative harmony breaks out.

Having at first feared I would struggle to get 10 lengths in I eventually manage 80 before meeting L for a mocha.

(Wednesday 16^th July)

Breakfast Roll

Today I give L that morning roll (or would that be called a breakfast roll?) with the foam roller, then get on the bike. It’s a busy morning.

At home Daughter has a second visit in a week from someone to read the meter. I’m not convinced, I think she’s just having fancy men round. Nobody’s billed me on the last reading yet and the electric have just sent an estimated bill.

I have to put this in print... L has agreed to go to Zumba with Daughter. I advise her to wear the most serious race t-shirt that she has but she disregards my advice. I hope someone got a video of the experience.

Dog training again.

(Tuesday 15^th July)

Athletically Taped Up

L has been for physio and has come back all athletically taped up and asking to use by foam roller. Of course she can and I even offer to administer the treatment myself. In fact I shall look forward to it.

In the evening, dog training then home to catch up on Le Tour. It’s still raining in France by the way.

(Monday 14^th July)

Not Fast

We have been attempting to do the Notfast 10k near Newark for a number of years but one of my vital dog qualifiers always clashed. This year there was no clash, so here we are at Newark Rugby Club. We have left the boys at home as it’s hot.

The race can best be described as no frills. It’s cheap and cheerful but not the most exciting of courses with a section down a busy main road. It’s well marshalled though with distance markers, three water stations and sponges. I do love a good sponge. There is just one hill at just over halfway but not a particularly bad one.

The run goes alright, although I’m slow as I suffer first with my dodgy knee then with my dodgy fitness. I come in in just under 49 minutes, shoot me now. L comes in 62 something, for which she’ll be doing cartwheels.

We spend the evening in the Horse & Jockey in Stapleford whilst keeping an eye on the World Cup final. I reckon if we get home in time for extra time and penalties we’ll get most of the action.

We get home with about 80 minutes on the clock. The game is still 0-0 but is settled seven minutes from the end of extra time, so I was nearly right.

(Sunday 13^th July)

Of Course It Matters

MD and I have two more dog shows with him at Grade 3. The first of them is today. L says he’ll win now it doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter? Of course it matters. A win is still a win even if it takes us nowhere bit it’ll be hard today, every man and his dog(s) are here from miles around.

Run one is decent, just a pole down and time wise it was looking top 5. Next up is the Crufts Team qualifier. Which is also decent and our team of 4 records 20 faults, which isn’t bad. Sadly MD and I got half of them.

He was unlucky though. He jumped straight through the first pole and consequently missed the next obstacle (the see-saw) completely. Which I thought was really just one cock up but the judge disagreed.

MD misses his weave entry on his next run but again it’s not a bad run. The final one isn’t great though, two errors caused by MD messing me around. Finally there’s a clear round from the Old Master on what is a very long course for an old dog, and for Doggo.

We stay in tonight. We have a run tomorrow, I think I can remember what one of those is.

(Saturday 12^th July)

The 37th Derby Camra Summer Beer Festival

L misses her swim, I miss my bus. We oversleep, I can’t even offer a more interesting excuse. At least we can slag each other off over a beer tonight at the Derby Beer Festival.

It’s Derby’s 37th annual Summer Beer Festival and I’ve been to most of them. I meet L in Derby and we head there straight from work.

This year, due to the closure of Derby’s Assembly Rooms, the whole thing will take place in a marquee on the market square. This is fine apart from a chronic lack of seating.

Every year has a theme and this year’s is 50 years of Derby Mountain Rescue. They also claim to have at least one beer from every Derbyshire brewery, of which at last count there were 28. We stall try a few of them

Me (all halves)

1 Townes Pynot Porter 4.5%

2 Cornish Crown Porter 5.2%

3 Castle Rock Midnight Owl 5.5%

4 4Ts Chocolate Stout 5.5%

5 Fullers ESB 5.0%

6 Caveman Clovis Point Brown 5.2%

7 Cornish Crown Porter 5.2%

8 Fullers ESB 5.0%

L (all thirds)

1 Raw Dark Peak Stout 4.5%

2 Deventio Cleopatra 5.0%

3 Deventio Cleopatra 5.0%

4 4T's Master Forever 4.2%

5 Fullers ESB 5.0%

6 Ashover Liquorice Alesort 5.0%

7 Deventio Cleopatra 5.0%

8 Bollywood??? (not on the menu)

(Friday 11^th July)