In The Bunker

Today’s Four Villages half marathon is cancelled.

The course is under snow and is not safe to run. They say the police would not have passed the route on their inspection, which is interesting. I didn’t know they would have been so closely involved. Maybe if it had been off road it would have gone ahead, which makes me wonder if I should overcome my phobia of of road just for the winter months to at least get some races in. Still the break is doing me no harm, I don’t think.

So a lie in and the park again. L goes out for a snowy run across the park. I’m tempted myself. She recommends running across the golf course where the snow is deepest. I give it ago, detouring to the park’s famous Arbour Hill which is not normally accessible due to the golfers, despite the fact that the golf course is on public land, they just don’t tell anyone it is. The run is quite pleasant, although there are some evil snow covered pot holes and ditches on the golf course or perhaps they’re called bunkers.

We have a takeaway curry despite the fact we haven’t earned it. At least we’ve got the t-shirt, it came in the post the other week.

We order too much, so I save some for tomorrow, very studently.

(Sunday 20^th January)

Winter Unchained

A busy schedule today, due to an inhuman kick off time of 1pm. So it’s an earlier than usual park session, which I thought would have perhaps been detrimental to Doggo’s limp but no, he copes well with the conditions.

 

 

Not that I expected the game to be on. Last year’s Derby-Forest match was called off in much the same circumstances, at much the same time of year. Perhaps the grief they got for that is the reason this year’s went ahead. One thing that is off is tomorrow’s race. I’m gutted about that but apparently the course is treacherous. 

The weather has also not put off the Military Fitness people and their poor clients.

Sadly the game is disappointing, a 1-1 draw, no fights, no sending offs and both sides seemingly happy with the result. The ‘big’ local derby attracted a capacity 33,000 crowd but it’s always a game that always leaves me a bit cold. Perhaps because I’ve lived in Nottingham for so long. 27 years now. Wow, is it really that long. Still, in all that time I’ve not developed any affection for Nottingham Forest but neither do I have any great disaffection for them either.

If anything, the disaffection is closer to home. Derby have just revealed a loss of almost £7.9m in the last financial year ending June 2012. This is slightly up on the £7.7m in the previous 12 months. When you consider that we are putting on the field a team made up mostly of teenagers, how can it be that we are still losing £8M a year?

In the evening, we head into town which shows no sign of suffering from reduced popularity due to the weather conditions. Mind you, all those who have beaten the elements tonight will presumably be snowed in when faced with making exactly the same journey into work on Monday morning.

Set in the pre-Civil War Deep South, Quentin Tarantino’s ‘Django Unchained’ is a Western and the story of a slave named Django (Jamie Foxx) who becomes, well, unchained. He is set free by a German dentist turned bounty hunter Dr. King Shultz (Christoph Waltz). He needs Django’s help to identify the three guys who are his next bounty and were Django’s previous owners.

Schultz quickly discovers that Django has all the right attributes for the bounty hunting game, basically he’s good at killing people. So they team up and Shultz takes him under his wing. Shultz though makes Django a promise, that once the winter is over, together they will rescue Django’s wife from slavery too.

Broomhilda (Kerry Washington), Django's missus, is owned by Calvin J. Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio) and works on his plantation home of Candieland. Which he is assisted in the running of by his head slave Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson), who’s somewhat of a turncoat for the anti slavery cause.

Tarantino films of course, divide opinion. If you like Tarantino, you’ll like scenes like the one with the KKK arguing for a good ten minutes about not being able to see out of the holes in their pillow case masks before one member rides off in a huff because his wife made them all and feels it’s unappreciated. Or you won’t.

You’ll like the gratuitous, over the top bloodshed. Or you won’t. 

You’ll like the prodigious use of the word nigger, which I assume he gets away with because it’s relevant to the time period but then again he’s got previous with this, having used the word in most of his films, just less often. Or you won’t.

Obviously it’s also got his other trademarks. Such as a great musical score, great acting, a character driven plot and someone losing their testicles. So you’ll like all that as well. Or you won’t.

You might even like Dicaprio, who it has to be said plays probably his best role ever and he talks Tarantino-speak like he’s done it his entire career. Or you won’t. 

It’s still good to see him shot though. You’ll like that.

So yes it’s a good film but I would say it’s not one of his cleverest and it’s a little too long. Certainly for our neighbours who had to make an awful lot of bathroom visits. The last half an hour seemed an unnecessary way of resolving things that could and should have already been resolved but perhaps Tarantino had forgotten to write himself into the script, so had to quickly fit his cameo in, as well as a bit more violence.

 

One final thought. Django is your typical deadeye movie gunman. He’s always first to the trigger and never gets shot no matter how many bullets are fired at him. He goes off on multiple killing sprees in the name of revenge, even if his victim’s association to him is tenuous. You would have thought that all this would have been on very dodgy ground considering several incidents worldwide in recent times including the most recent in Connecticut but no, apparently not. Just saying. You’ll like that. Or you won’t.

Afterwards Brewdog is so busy we only stay for one before ending up at the Old Bell, which is disappointing. The Abbot is the best option and that’s poor. Then we think we've timed our sprint for the bus to perfection but then see it disappearing into the distance as we arrive. With an hour to the next one it’s time to walk.

(Saturday 19^th January)

Ravaged By An Earthquake

This morning at 5.20am we are ravaged by an earthquake. Doggo and I are awake but do not know why. Half an hour later Doggo vomits on the carpet. Delayed reaction perhaps. It didn't wake L or MD obviously.

I take the bus for the fourth day in the row. This is worse than my gym habit. 

Apparently we have had the “worst snow for 30 years” but then they say that every year. It’s true that it isn’t very good snow and we only have a light dusting of it here, an inch or so. It has also covered up the icy patches making walking a lot easier but to call it the worst for 30 years is a bit harsh on the snow. Naturally everywhere is in total chaos.

This is brilliant. A software developer has apparently outsourced his work to China at a cheaper rate, pocketed the difference and then spent all day on the internet, surfing sites like Reddit.

 

I had to go on Reddit because I didn’t know what it was. Anyone who can find it interesting for more than five minutes has my admiration, it’s just a jumbled mess of pointless trivia. You could spend your life on that desperately trying to find something of interest. Actually, I think I’d rather do some work. Well after I’ve finished checking out the Chinese small ads.

It has to be said his employer seemed to get a good deal out of it, so I wonder if after sacking him, was his replacement as good?

After two days at the gym and then squash, my legs decide that today is a rest day.

(Friday 18^th January)

So Not Fair

Somehow, against my knowledge, they slipped a Nottingham Half Ironman in to the Triathlon calendar. We already have a full Ironman in Nottingham - the Outlaw, now we have the Outlaw Half as well. I recently developed a rather reckless desire to do a Half Ironman and this would be an ideal opportunity to be reckless locally.

Why? Why not. I mean how hard can it be? half marathon - check, 56 mile bike - check, 1.2 mile swim - gulp. Ok, so perhaps it’s a good job they didn’t tell me. 2013 is now full, 2014 here I come...

I mention this now because L has ruined my morning by suggesting that if I’m seriously considering such a preposterous event, shouldn't I not be looking at doing the Great North Swim or something similar, to help overcome my fear of water and sort of this year?

She may have a point and I do already have about half a dozen swims in my diary because somebody keeps sending me them. The Great North at Windermere is an obvious starting point. I know the form, been there, got the T Shirt (but only because L had a spare). Now all I need is the wetsuit and the swimming cap. Can’t wait.

Apparently it’s snowing in Nottingham. There’s no snow here in Derby. We’re jealous. Even the BBC say it’s snowing in Derby... but it isn’t!

Pub lunch today featuring Chicken and Bacon pie rather than the usual Steak and Ale one, it’s nice to have a variation.

Still snowing in Nottingham. Still not snowing in Derby. This is so not fair. I’ll just have to come to the snow. Off home.

Then it’s squash. We battle through three close games. We used to get through four or five, so I must be improving or at least stringing the games out for longer. We consider changing the scoring system from PAR 15 to what the professionals play PAR 11. I’m not sure if shorter games will work in my favour or not. We’ll see.

(Thursday 17^th January)

The Aesthetic Side Of Boot Sitting

I don’t have to hurl myself in front of the bus this morning; it’s late, well late.

I perhaps ought to do another gym session tonight. What with this twice a month rubbish, at least I’ll then have this month’s already in the bag.

I head down to the gym at around 7pm. L isn’t keen to join me but has to because she hates being outdone. We do John Carroll this time, which gives Doggo a bit of variety for his boot sitting. There’s more to look at the Tennis Centre, well a better class of student totty at least but then you often get a few winos hanging around by JC. That might even peak MD’s interest. He’s not into the aesthetic side of boot sitting like Doggo is but he does love someone to bark at.

A 12km session on the bike, a 2km run and then a severe bout of cramp in calves. Perhaps I may have overdone it by cranking up the resistance level on the bike.

(Wednesday 16th January)

Drastic Measures

It’s not really biking weather, although some do and it’s not really safe to run either. In fact walking is actually pretty horrible, so the boys are making do with more football in the garden than actual walks out.

Naturally the bus comes early and as I couldn’t really run for it, given the conditions, I threw myself in front of it instead. Worked a treat but the driver wasn’t very happy.

This lack of outdoor training calls for drastic measures. Indoor training.

On the grounds that John Carroll might be too busy, L and I go to the Tennis Centre. Lo and behold who should be there but one of L’s 'men' who works at John Carroll and who seems to have assigned himself as my ‘personal trainer’. He there giving a young girl a right going over with a set of dumbbells, getting her to lift various weights in all sorts of odd positions. I hope he doesn’t try getting me to do any of that.

He taps me on the shoulder as I pedal my way through 10km, and tells me cycling is banned in here. Hmmm. I’ll go for a row then, does he have a problem with that? 2km row done then a short 2km run, then off home for rare steak.

Oh yes, I nearly forget to say, I also signed up for the 'once a month' gym £50 cash back deal again, only once I've filled the form in they tell me it's no longer a requirement to go once a month. Oh good. It’s now twice a month. Oh no. Twice a month! That’s insane. It's a conspiracy.

(Tuesday 15th January)

Hypochondria

I would suspect that today's snow, some overnight and more this morning, may put tonight's outdoor dog training in doubt. According to the ever reliable BBC, Nottingham had the biggest fall at 3cm. Although, bizarrely our car park at work here in Derby was snow free this morning and I suspected the rest might have disappeared by lunchtime but by then it was snowing again.

The snow, combined with his arthritis, makes Doggo hard work on a walk. He always limps in snow, as he thinks ice on his paws means he’s maimed for life. So you don’t know what’s a real limp and what hypochondria.

I slither to the supermarket at lunchtime, which was well worth the effort. Really quiet in there.

There’s no news on dog class yet, perhaps they’re hoping it’ll clear up later. At least if it’s off, it’ll save our arthritic old man from having to sit in the cold boot. Of course he’s very welcome to stay at home in the warm but he won’t want to.

Then I get a message. Training is surprisingly off.

(Monday 14th January)

Sort Of Fits The Job Description

Doggo isn’t great but we partake in a short walk of a couple of miles anyway, thinking he needs to do something. Keep him active, so as not to seize up. He seems ok. The trip home in the boot for three hours might do him more harm than the walk.

On the way home we attempt a bit of shopping in Bowness and fail, at the walking shop on the A590 and fail and then in the Low Sizergh Barn Farm Shop and succeed, at least on the cheese front.

Not that we could find any we’d had over the weekend, the Bengdale Blue that I so liked and the Lancashire Cheddar. If such a thing as Lancashire Cheddar really exists. Surely it's Lancashire or Cheddar but whatever. I buy some Cheddar from Preston, which sort of fits the job description.

(Sunday 13th January)

A Bit'er Ruff

Breakfast is substantial, particularly for those who had a cheeseboard last night that they shouldn’t have had. That's not to mention feeling a bit ruff after A Bit'er Ruff.

For once we’re in the Lakes with no weekend run planned. I’m they’ll be plenty of ‘round that peak and back’ fell races if we’d looked but we hadn’t. Deliberately. They’re not really our thing or rather they’re not really our sort of navigation.

Instead we take a rather pleasant jaunt up the low lying fell of School Knott. After which we take a wrong turn of sorts and end up in Windermere, when it should have been Bowness. Once we’ve corrected ourselves we can stop for a break at one of the pubs there, the Royal Oak. Which is in fact the official finishing pub for the Dales Way.

It’s a bit fraudulent though, as we’ve only done about 2 miles of the Dales Way, rather than the full 84 mile hike from Ilkley. Tomorrow perhaps, if we're up to it.

Doggo needs this break more than the rest of us. Both of Doggo and I are limping but he’s worse than me. In fact we even consider taking the bus back to Ings but he seems to recover and we get him back home by foot. Sadly with the old man now approaching 12 years old, we may not be doing much more walking with him, keen though he is. He needs the Dogth Vader tonight more than me.

Funnily enough though, we eventually end up on OP.

(Saturday 12th January)

A Bit Of A W'ruff Night

I'm off work today. I have booked a boiler service for this morning and then this afternoon we’re off to the Lakes to fulfil a 15 year old ambition to stay in the Watermill Inn in Ings.

The original reason to stay there has long gone, that being Lees' Moonraker on draught. That disappeared when they started their own brewery and reduced the number of guest ale they have.

Still, with around 16 beers on at any one time it should be a good weekend. Oh and we intend to do some walking as well.

The day starts very productively. By 11am the gasman has been and gone, we’ve done the park and I've paid the tax return. Time now for a late breakfast.

The gasman has replaced a part that was dripping. Whether this will solve the pressure problem we're having (again), who knows. I guess we’ll see if it’s still working by the time we get back on Sunday evening.

Then after lunch, I collect L from work and we head up to Ings. We check in to our room, then after making ourselves and the dogs comfortable for a while, hit the bar.

Oddly we largely ignore the fact that there’s Old Peculiar on the bar. It’s a bit two-a-penny now it’s on in Nottingham as well as at the Old Dungeon Ghyll just down the road of course.

We settle in for a W'ruff Night instead.

(Friday 11th January)