A Shambolic Process

On the bike today and slightly damp as it rains on me for the first time in a while.

We have one entry into the new London Landmarks Half Marathon which was a shambolic process but I think these races like it this way as it gets them talked about. In the end preregistering was pointless, as entries were open to anyone whether they’d preregistered or not, and you could only do one entry at a time. It was easy enough to get myself a place but by the time I’d done that and started over again entering L’s details the race was full. So the internet is now awash with people who are in but their partner isn’t. Like us.

The website also said it would hold your place for 15 minutes once you were on, to give you time to enter you details but this turned out to be untrue. Cue meltdown on Facebook.

There were actually only half of the 10000 places available, the rest are now being offered as charity places and cost about eight times the standard place. If the race was a concert, this would be referred to ticket touting.

Squash tonight, to which L walks with MD. Then afterwards we do two pubs in a night as we go to both the Navigation and the Dispensary at the request of my (usually non drinking) opponent.

(Thursday 20^th April)

Nothing But The Best

Doggo continues to insist on nothing but the best for breakfast, as a dog of his senior years would probably expect. Not everyone gets gravy for breakfast but he does.

I cycle to work while L hits the gym. Then she bombards me with an endless steam of emails. Busy are we?

It’s still the Easter holidays and her boss is away, so there’s not much going on at her work. She says she’ll take Friday off if things don’t pick up. The dogs will certainly make sure she’s not bored if she spends the day at home.

In the evening, she takes the car over to Mickleover to visit her parents which means I have to break the news to her that the car is currently refusing to turn right or rather it’s refusing to indicate that’s what you wish it to do.

(Wednesday 19^th April)

A Completely Different Animal

With yesterday being a bank holiday and therefore the Leisure Centre being shut, my Monday 50m swim becomes the Tuesday 50m swim but it’s a completely different animal.

Monday morning is the only morning when they open three lanes, the rest of the week it's just two. So it is either a case of playing follow my leader in the nose to tail congestion that is lane one or to mix it with the big boys and girls in lane two. Naturally I chose the latter and am therefore exhausted afterwards. I also swam for an extra ten minutes but due to the lightness of the traffic I am still in work for 8.15.

Theresa May calls a press conference and we all assume she’s going to resign but no, she calls a ‘snap’ election. What joy.

At dogging in the evening we initiate a new recruit who also turns out to be a marathon runner and a triathlete. We don’t get too many of those in the club. She also trying to outdo me already and has a sportive this weekend with an open water tri also booked. She’s also swam Windermere. Great North Swim? I ask. No, ten miles, end to end. Gulp. I nearly mentioned my upcoming half arsed before I realised this person was well capable of doing a full arsed in their sleep. So kept stumm.

No L tonight, so no pub and no Wainwrights.

(Tuesday 18^th April)

Not Too Disheartening

Today its time to revisit the Easter 10k on Wollaton Park. This is a real old school event with big queues for registration, a delayed start and no mile or kilometres markers at all. They have dabbled with such high tech devices over the years but have never actually managed to cover the whole course for some reason, now they seem to have given up completely.

Although a jog around my local park is always pleasant, except when it’s raining and it isn’t today, this is just for training purposes. So it’s nice to find out that I am actually 30 seconds quicker than when I last ran it three years ago. Not that my time is quick by any stretch of the imagination or comparison to ‘back in the day’ but at least it’s not too disheartening.

Then it’s the Easter Monday football match which naturally isn’t at 3pm but at 5pm. Pffft.

After getting home from that, might as well go straight to bed. Luckily L seems to agree. 

(Monday 17^th April)

Shattering Sunday

A leisurely and chilled Easter Sunday is eventually shattered by the track session I have booked at the Derby Velodrome in the evening.

These things are never leisurely or chilled of course and I always ended up shattered and today’s session is no exception. Although it was nice to see that the centre was actually open when so many aren’t over Easter, the session proves pretty popular too which is good because the less that are there the less rest time you get and therefore the more shattering it is. 

Still need a beer afterwards though.

(Sunday 16^th April)

Final Fortnight

This morning we run the usual parkrun at Forest Rec and then in the evening we have a night out with some friends we haven’t seen for a couple of millennia.

It seems fitting to meet them in the Crafty Crow, which we also haven’t frequented for aeons, and where Charrington Oatmeal Stout becomes number 176 on my dark beer trail which is now into its final fortnight. So, I’m probably not going to quite reach the double century.

Then we eat in the Calcutta Club, just around the corner on Maid Marion Way. It’s a good meal and an excellent night out is completed with our usual pub crawl up Derby Road. We grab one just before they close in the Room With A Brew before finishing up in the Blue Monkey. I hope our friends made it home ok because I think we were all feeling a bit sloshed by the end of the evening.

(Saturday 15^th April)

The Four Days Of Easter

It’s the first day of Easter today. Bugger the twelve days of Christmas give me the four days of Easter any day.

Easter is basically, to me at least, an upgrade on Christmas with none of the hassle. I mean unless you’re really really keen, or really really gullible, there’s no buying of presents, no buying of cards and no family commitments.

What’s more you are guaranteed a four day break from work without touching your annual leave because Easter always conveniently falls on a weekend. Then there's the fact that most things continue as usual, even the football is generally on the days you’d expect it to be, plus the pubs are open as normal on all four days. What’s not to like?

There’s even Easter Dogging which I indulge in today. It’s our second outdoor show at Grade 6 but the contrast from the Championship level show last weekend to this more local show is vast. The standard is crap basically. Not that we exactly rise above the general crapness. We have one official clear round and one unofficial one as we were 0.1 seconds out of time. I took it slow because no one else was going clear and then undercooked it.

However the general crapness of everyone else benefits us in the end when we get a rosette for 4^th with ten faults. That’s shocking, and the sort of thing you’d expect in Grade 1 or 2 not Grade 6, but we don’t turn it down. 

(Friday 14^th April)

May Involve Cake

I do the dogs this morning which means they get a walk rather than a ball session. So Doggo certainly enjoyed it but I’m not so sure about MD. What’s life without balls, poor lamb.

L has an 8.30am physio appointment in Hyson Green on the NHS because the private stuff is bankrupting us. Sadly this turns out to be a disappointment as it ends up being just an assessment to see if she needs physio which obviously she does! Hopes were not high anyway as the last NHS physio she had was ‘hands free’, so a bit crap, but to get crap pre-physio assessment is beyond crap. She now has an appointment for 5^th May, so another three week delay.

No squash tonight, instead we are meeting some friends for coffee at Quad in Derby. I make sure I’m there early this time as last time they ran off before I got there. I do try to not take these things personally. I have been warned that it may involve cake.

It’s only a brief social occasion and I could have played squash later but sadly anything after 8pm is too late for my opponent. This is probably why he always wins, its at that sort of time I start to come alive. 

(Thursday 13^th April)

Bed To 5k

Last night, I finally got around to putting that new wheel on my bike. So I’m good to go this morning and I cycle to work back on ‘number two’ bike.

Having launched her ‘Couch to 5k’ programme, L claims to be feeling good. She said she could even sit back on said couch last night without grimacing. In her case though it should really be a ‘Bed to 5k’ programme as that is where the problem usually starts, as in getting out of it without resorting to a crawl. Still there are benefits to not being able to leap out of bed in the mornings.

Dog training tonight and also a side mission to pick up a TV from L’s parents. This is for Daughter as we continue to fit out her penthouse apartment.

Later in the pub, there is a somewhat diverse selection (for the Masons anyway) of Timothy Taylor Knowle Spring and Weetwood Best. 

(Wednesday 12^th April)

How Not To be A Bitch

I join L and the boys on the park this morning and then take the car to work. I still have a hobble after Sunday’s hill climbing and I’m still walking a bit like Doggo, who’s nearly sixteen, but then when has a good sniff and a zigzag hurt anyone. 

Plus I really must get a haircut, needs must, the few remaining strands of my are getting in my eyes. L also gets her hair done today and apparently goes for the Cadbury's Dairy Milk look. I don’t.

Once in work, rather than working, L is looking up the likes of ’10 easy ways to not be a bitch’, for some reason.

In a nutshell this comes down to the five ‘gets’ - get some self control, get some food, get some exercise, get laid and get a puppy. Sounds about right.

(Tuesday 11^th April)