I spend the morning at work, then when we are dismissed at
lunchtime I get bus back over to Nottingham.
I have made a rash promise to L to take her to see this year's
Christmas offering from Disney which is entitled Frozen. L does like a bit of
Christmas tat and it does have a cute reindeer in it, so here we are or not as
the showing at Broadway is sold out. Phew.
Never fear it’s on at Cineworld. We book tickets then settle
down for a pint of Hobgoblin’s Christmas Ale in Langtrys and to wait for Daughter
to arrive. After a decadent lunch at Subway... we go in about 20 minutes late,
missing the adverts. Hurrah.
The story concerns two sisters called Elsa (long hair, big
chest, blonde) and Anna (long hair, big chest, brunette), who are placed under
house arrest by their parents for their entire childhood when it is revealed
(by trolls of course) that Elsa has hidden powers which will be set off by ‘fear’.
However when the parents die the two sisters, now more
fearful that ever after being locked up for years, are expected to rule the
kingdom... straight away you know that this is going to go t*ts up.
So the blonde one (Elsa) becomes Queen and at her coronation
party her dippy sister the brunette (Anna) gets a huge crush on one of the
guests, Prince Hans, and agrees to marry him approximately five minutes later.
Queen Elsa isn’t terribly impressed, refuses to condone their impetuous relationship
and it’s immediately handbags at dawn between the two girls. During which Elsa
accidentally reveals her hidden powers, which freezes the kingdom over, shrouding
it in eternal winter.
Another party guest, a meddling foreign dignitary known as the
Duke of Weselton, orders Elsa’s own soldiers to arrest and kill their own
queen. Perhaps the solders might like to consult with somebody more senior in
their own kingdom first? No? Oh ok.
Amidst such madness Elsa legs it, leaving Anna in power until
she legs it too in pursuit of her sister. Before she goes she appoints the dashing
guy she'd just met, Prince whatshisname, to rule in her place. Now there's a
diplomatic incident in waiting you'd think but no one disputes it, not even the
meddling Duke.
Out in the frozen wilds, Anna is aided by a bloke named
Kristoff, his reindeer Sven and a snowman named Olaf. Consequently, thanks to the
latter two, things pick up a touch particularly when the snowman’s carrot is
involved.
When they track down Elsa she has fully embraced her new bad
girl image and also has a much bigger snowman than her little sister. The girls
talk but things don't go well and Anna ends up with ice in her heart, although
this isn’t uncommon with girls of her age. This ice can only be thawed by an act
of true love, although that never worked in my day.
All the same Anna races back to Prince Hans to get one. The
dutiful Kristoff takes her all the way home but then gets the door slammed in
his face, not even being offered a cup of tea for his trouble.
Hans though only has eyes for the throne and locks Anna in a
room to freeze to death. He then tells everyone she’s dead but that they got married
first, so he’s now king. QED. You got proof of that mate? e.g. witnesses,
marriage certificate etc etc. Thought not, but still the new king is welcomed with
open arms.
Then it gets complicated... as the dippy brunette one
belatedly realises that true love might come Kristoff shaped, Elsa reappears and
Prince Hans tries to murder her. When the dippy one intervenes, Elsa is saved, her
sister's assistance being an act of true love.
At this point the curse of eternal winter is somehow lifted. I’m not sure how. Just ‘love’ I suppose, the
implication being that Elsa never loved either her sister or her kingdom before?
Clearly they had no clue where they were going with
this one
when they started making it and just winged it. So ten out of ten for
nerve at least. I'd love to be fly on the wall as a host of inquisitive
seven year olds ask their parents 'why did so and so do that Mummy?'
I guess the advice is don’t think about the plot, it did give
me a headache, just enjoy the snowman.
Afterwards Daughter heads over for a Christmas meal with her father whilst L and I head to the Vat and Fiddle, where they have Lincoln Green Stout, Midnight Owl and Red Hart. All decent beers but after a couple we move on to try the Fellows, which has Tuck. It also shuts on us but we've probably had enough by then and head home, where we order the traditional Christmas Eve takeaway. This year Indian.
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